I had more lived in solitude and silence within myself and only this blog was a creative act in itself in my short life. Cinephilia or writing is just a passion with rarely requiring extraordinary force of will. Beneath the riches of the creative life and observation, there was still one ordinary & pointless life, to be lived each second.
Everything under the sun and above the earth comes in my observation. The fact is that no matter where in history we are, all of those bad things exist. The point of our existence is to show even in a world filled with hate and evil, if we stop for a minute and just look around we can find the good. There is a purity in my isolation from the world, saving the last traces of innocence or whatever unconscious motives. I had gone through several long phases of depressions in 2 years with only 1 or 2 persons knowing about it. Now, I feel no joy or sharing heart's burden kinda of stuff in sharing my feelings with everyone. I will now focus on persons close to me who were emotionally supporting me when I was on crusades to save the world or doing social welfare.
Through history of my life, habits or oaths have been junked if they become inconvenient. The ever changing habits allows sovereign persons like me to scrap any prior resolution. Now, I am trying to break a prolonged phases of silence and formalities between relations. I am stranger to many persons in many aspects who are close to me. Have to sort out lot of personal life...
This week has been turned out good and I am quite happy with my performance. Just like anyone in the early 20s, I am still trying to figure out mine place in the world and work out who I am. I am still learning and need more time to do the things. Instead of what all people are doing in the life and various fields, I need more time and space to prove myself.
I was living life in reckless way after joining college from summer of 2004. Suddenly, mutation happens. Don't ask how ? Nobody knows, not even me about this tipping point.
I am changing... (Few examples)
I am bathing daily from last 7 days.
(Previously, 10 times in month)
I am combing my hair with comb daily.
(Previously, 7 times a month, that too with hands)
I am taking breakfast daily at right time.
(Previously, never taken)
I am shaving in each 4 days
(Previously, once in 45 days)
I am putting clothes pressed and in Hangers
(Previously never done that)
I am changing...*
*The above changes are done without any external pressure. Those who know me personally knows my disgust for taking bath...
"And then what happens?"
5 hours ago