While growing up, I was scared to do anything wrong in the school or colony. Assuming and thinking hundred times that action might hurt reputation of mine parents. I was worried about everything. I am still a jerk in the social life but the environment of the school was more suffocating for me. I just didn't go up against all odds, and everything was OK for me.
I was always a model of obedience to the teachers and parents. Progressive parents surely helped me to have broaden mindset over many many things. It was an advantage over those forced to struggle from the outset with prejudices and rigid religious strictures. As the people say - हमारे यहां अपनी दिलचस्पियों के साथ वयस्क होने की इजाजत नहीं है। हम दूसरों की उम्मीदों के हमदम होते हैं और हमारी ख्वाहिशों का कोई मददगार नहीं होता।
I was a real nerd till the age of 19. I rebelled in the hostel life and even shed studies for the sake of starting new chapter in the life. I established a complete new 'me' in those four years. College life helped me to throw that baggage of fear and expectations. I was little frightened of the college administration in those days. The fear of submission and disciplinary action has gone now. Perhaps, because I am financially independent currently. Today, I am not worried about the colleagues and the manager.
Heart is strange thing. Once it falls for someone, it falls like apple under gravity. It does not think, what people will think or say ? And it just cares whether the beloved has heard him or not. That is Love. Once a person taste the freedom, one falls same kind of love with the liberty. And then one say the right thing at the right time in the right place.
Once a person become independent economically and socially, the society wants him/her to be married and settled. Its quite insane when society pushes girls/boys in the marriage before their thinking buds can open. A society that gives time to youth on its own expense to youth to seek their own truth prospers with the knowledge and peace.
People talk about love only and they seemed never to be touched by love. Its scary to consider gifts and lies as a sign of love. Love is a bitter experience for me !
When one observes and attempts to understand with a distancing gaze the circumstances of one's life in a constantly changing world, it gifts one a far bigger overview of the life. That is a first step towards meditation.
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