Mutation

I had more lived in solitude and silence within myself and only this blog was a creative act in itself in my short life. Cinephilia or writing is just a passion with rarely requiring extraordinary force of will. Beneath the riches of the creative life and observation, there was still one ordinary & pointless life, to be lived each second.

Everything under the sun and above the earth comes in my observation. The fact is that no matter where in history we are, all of those bad things exist. The point of our existence is to show even in a world filled with hate and evil, if we stop for a minute and just look around we can find the good. There is a purity in my isolation from the world, saving the last traces of innocence or whatever unconscious motives. I had gone through several long phases of depressions in 2 years with only 1 or 2 persons knowing about it. Now, I feel no joy or sharing heart's burden kinda of stuff in sharing my feelings with everyone. I will now focus on persons close to me who were emotionally supporting me when I was on crusades to save the world or doing social welfare.

Through history of my life, habits or oaths have been junked if they become inconvenient. The ever changing habits allows sovereign persons like me to scrap any prior resolution. Now, I am trying to break a prolonged phases of silence and formalities between relations. I am stranger to many persons in many aspects who are close to me. Have to sort out lot of personal life...

This week has been turned out good and I am quite happy with my performance. Just like anyone in the early 20s, I am still trying to figure out mine place in the world and work out who I am. I am still learning and need more time to do the things. Instead of what all people are doing in the life and various fields, I need more time and space to prove myself.

I was living life in reckless way after joining college from summer of 2004. Suddenly, mutation happens. Don't ask how ? Nobody knows, not even me about this tipping point.

I am changing... (Few examples)
I am bathing daily from last 7 days.
(Previously, 10 times in month)
I am combing my hair with comb daily.
(Previously, 7 times a month, that too with hands)
I am taking breakfast daily at right time.
(Previously, never taken)
I am shaving in each 4 days
(Previously, once in 45 days)
I am putting clothes pressed and in Hangers
(Previously never done that)
I am changing...*

*The above changes are done without any external pressure. Those who know me personally knows my disgust for taking bath...

Slow Down Now

I am a person good with words but bad in dealing emotional tussle in relationship coming daily in the life.

Life appears fast now days. Time to see back and observe becomes short each moment. I now understand why Ghazals, photographs and family history become common discussion topic with old age. They provoke the slow resurrection of the emotions deeply embedded in the memories and heart.

This blog is dedicated to those living life more slowly. Its aimed, but not limited to, those of us grinding along daily in India. I make no claims to be a blogger extrordinaire. These are simply my thoughts regarding this new and exciting movement and how we can apply its principles in our everyday lives.

Most of my friends don't talk about caste, religion, war, life and universe because they consider it as irrelevant to their life. Good for them. But, I refuse to see only these topics as events, Root cause analysis can only give me more understanding about myself, these topics and human nature.

Human nature is so unchanging that we are designed to do same mistakes again and again. The same circle of violence, discrimination, war and greed has hunted down each generation. I feel that deep down consciousness, there is nothingness only. There is no future and there was no past, only our notion of unchanging present. My life means nothing and conscience is an animal instinct...

Slow Down Now, fast forward does not make life new. Its hollowness of our mask of perfection, or holiness, to cover up for sinful human nature. Death is only last end in this circular design of life. I am a creature full of desire, aversion and ignorance and that is bounded by subtle sufferings that occur in day to day life.

A wise man had said that all of us had an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love in the life. They say that age gives us wisdom and slowness. Actually, have they ever seen themselves as old donkey? Wisdom never comes with age, only nostalgia we got in the end...

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

New Mile Sur Mera Tumhara



Old Mile Sur Mera Tumhara