Daniel Everette’s Deconversion

This video confirmed my trust in the lectures of Osho on Tao. Daniel Everette 's deconversion from chiristianity to tribal way of life is quite heartful. Influenced by the Pirahã's concept of truth, his belief in Christianity slowly diminished and he became an atheist.

I don't subscribe to the theology of the westerners. There theology like culture is so limiting and binary –its always a choice between atheism or faith. Issues of epistemological justification are outcomes of theological pursuit of truths in eastern religions, that is completely missing in the western religious discourses. Here, there are remarkable quantity of intellectual theories and philosophies like world view concepts of Dharma, Karma, Nirvana and ideas of reality.

A true religion teaches man to aspire to that which is “higher” in him. Buddhism emphasizes individual “willing” to the “better” in man and does not rely on grace of God, prophet or any scripture. It believes in transforming the mind and using it to explore itself and other phenomena. For Easterners however, there are transcendentant principles without believing in the supernatural –this is the difference.

I will say today a valuable lesson learned by me on the path to discover about faith : Trust is not the same as faith. A friend is someone you trust. Putting faith in anyone is a mistake.

Stanzas Written in Dejection on the Roof

एक अधुरा अरमान, उड़ते हुए कई ख्वाब !

बादलों में घुलते सितारे, सन्नाटे में चीरती निगाहें |


धुएँ में घुला जा रहा हूँ

आसमान से गिरती बूँदों में जला जा रहा हूँ,

अपने अस्तित्व पर प्रश्नचिन्ह करता हूँ

जीवन के यथार्थ को छिन्न भिन्न करता हूँ |


ठंडी हवाओं में उड़ जाना चाहता हूँ

शून्य में विलीन होने की संभावना देखता हूँ,

हर एक काश के साथ राख हुए जा रहा हूँ

एककीपन में मृत्यु का स्पंदन किये जा रहा हूँ |

---Himanshu Rai

This poem is dedicated to all those who understand illusion of the life and search for meaning in the death. I want to fly away like smoke in the infinite. I suspend all types of blogging, social networking and reading activities !!!

And this shit has got to stop!

2'o clock in the Friday night at office is a perfect time to break free. I am running out of the office to breathe and searching for a cigarettes to smoke out suffocation. I have just written a poem in my mother tongue. I was like on the verge of explosion due to this restricted lifestyle. I am on the verge of panic.

I am becoming heavily drug addicted to facebook, cricinfo, emails and blogging. 3 days at home had just passed in refreshing facebook status and reading some bull shit about world. And this shit has got to stop! The reality of the world depends on where you stand. Its heaven for some creatures and full of illusion and suffering for me.

The madness and complexity in relations is driving me nuts. Socialization by wearing a humble mask is making me schizophrenic. I wish to return to solitude and silence. Only that can bring order to my chaotic consciousness. Life is calling into the void, the wild inside can't be tamed by false love and sympathy.

I love the fragrance of the earth after the rain. Once upon a time, I was feeling close to the death and understanding of the world expanded exponentially. This increase of sensitivity left me vulnerable, open and fragile. The constraint to go social  is unsettling for me.

I am thinking about my past now. Its the illusion of great childhood. I had grown on the dope of idealism that was necessary also otherwise whole humanity became practical (crooked) till young age. Then, I thought about ours addiction to entertainment . I have seen porn clips and find it highly good sometime. But the question arises here, entertainment can be porn or not ?

Have you ever heard both Hindi and English version of 'Baavra man' song. They are like the old man looking back to his past for un-achieved love and wishes. Death seems to be more close and gives the feeling of mortality.  I relate to him in an unknown way by just hearing this song. Just bleak images of the poster of Wild Strawberries emerge in front of my eyes.

Nothing changes in the world however hard we try. Only death and life is inevitable and true. Rest of all existence is just Kafkaesque or Mithya. I am not even being or ever born. I only exist to understand meaning of the life and death. Its fascinating to live in present and blabber under mental turmoil. I will regret in the morning for this scribbler spirit of the night. These psychedelic moments and post contains enigma of mine life. This moment will pass for never to come back again like me.