Stanzas Written in Dejection on the Roof

एक अधुरा अरमान, उड़ते हुए कई ख्वाब !

बादलों में घुलते सितारे, सन्नाटे में चीरती निगाहें |


धुएँ में घुला जा रहा हूँ

आसमान से गिरती बूँदों में जला जा रहा हूँ,

अपने अस्तित्व पर प्रश्नचिन्ह करता हूँ

जीवन के यथार्थ को छिन्न भिन्न करता हूँ |


ठंडी हवाओं में उड़ जाना चाहता हूँ

शून्य में विलीन होने की संभावना देखता हूँ,

हर एक काश के साथ राख हुए जा रहा हूँ

एककीपन में मृत्यु का स्पंदन किये जा रहा हूँ |

---Himanshu Rai

This poem is dedicated to all those who understand illusion of the life and search for meaning in the death. I want to fly away like smoke in the infinite. I suspend all types of blogging, social networking and reading activities !!!

Comments

girlsguidetosurvival said…
Welcome to the club...

May be you'll enjoy this

http://www.sikhsangeet.com/albumid576-Osho-Rajneesh-Ek-Omkar-Satnam.html

Peace,

Desi Girl
August 30, 2010 at 4:05 AM
joie de vivre said…
your poem gives a sense of numbness..
August 30, 2010 at 8:02 PM
Yayaver said…
Desi Girl, Thanks for the Omkar Satnam. It is wonderful, I am listening.
August 31, 2010 at 12:18 AM
Yayaver said…
Hi joie de vivre, I am in isolation. This poem was written with feeling of suffocation and rebel.
August 31, 2010 at 12:22 AM
Anonymous said…
"हर एक काश के साथ राख हुए जा रहा हूँ

एककीपन में मृत्यु का स्पंदन किये जा रहा हूँ |"


जीवन के रहस्य का सही अर्थ तो मृत्यु में ही है किंतु विडंबना ये है कि वो लोग जीवित आत्मायों के प्रश्नों के उत्तर देने के लिए वापस नहीं आ सकते है |

I suspend all types of blogging, social networking and reading activities !!!

इसका क्या मतलब हम सभी समझें ?
August 31, 2010 at 2:35 PM
Roshmi Sinha said…
Quite a heavy poem I must say. I hope the last line... was not meant to be serious...
September 1, 2010 at 2:23 AM
Anonymous said…
if u r so frustrated with the status quo, shed off your fear and start doing what you love most. I hope, then, you would do justice to your life. Then, you would not just exist, you would be alive. A poem is coming to my mind. I would encourage you to check the following link

http://www.geeta-kavita.com/hindi_sahitya.asp?id=244


Cheers!!
Ravish
September 1, 2010 at 11:54 AM
Yayaver said…
anjaanrahgir, I will concentrate on few goals right now and suspend few activities for 2,3 months. That is my plan; I am going in shell and have a pending task to perform for a long time. If alive, then will sure back...
September 2, 2010 at 1:05 AM
Yayaver said…
Roshmi, I have no desire to die but the self destruction is wonderful phenomenon. It destructs every positive thing you believe in. I am forcing myself to preserve those relations and a goal that I cherish most. Thanks for coming here in hard times.
September 2, 2010 at 1:07 AM
Yayaver said…
@Utkarsha, I am frustated with my lifestyle. And my laziness to change it... Much thanks for the poem. The intensity of my desire to overcome will decide my fate.
September 2, 2010 at 1:09 AM
Roshmi Sinha said…
"I have no desire to die but the self destruction is wonderful phenomenon."

I never meant that...

What I referred to was the unsheduled and indefinite 'hibernation' indicated there... Meaning... we'll miss your posts indefinitely :(
September 2, 2010 at 11:50 AM
Yayaver said…
@ Roshmi madam, sorry for such a late response. I have gone for a short tour for a change.

Hibernation is broken with a short blog post today only. The gambler can became empty with the money but can't push away the habit of gambling...

Life is short and "let it go" philosophy helps me in overcoming all negative thoughts. Thanks for clearing confusion here.
September 8, 2010 at 6:14 AM
Post a Comment

What are people reading?

Lyrics of Title Song from Bharat Ek Khoj

सृष्टी से पहले सत्य नहीं था, असत्य भी नहीं अंतरिक्ष भी नहीं, आकाश भीं नहीं था छिपा था क्या कहाँ, किसने देखा था उस पल तो अगम, अटल जल भी कहाँ था सृष्टी का कौन हैं कर्ता कर्ता हैं यह वा अकर्ता ऊंचे आसमान में रहता सदा अध्यक्ष बना रहता वोहीं सच मुच में जानता. या नहीं भी जानता हैं किसी को नहीं पता नहीं पता नहीं है पता, नहीं है पता........... वोह था हिरान्य गर्भ सृष्टी से पहले विद्यमान वोही तो सारे भूत जात का स्वामी महान जो है अस्तित्वमाना धरती आसमान धारण कर ऐसे किस देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर जिस के बल पर तेजोमय है अम्बर पृथ्वी हरी भरी स्थापित स्थिर स्वर्ग ओर सूरज भी स्थिर ऐसे किस देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर गर्भ में अपने अग्नी धारण कर पैदा कर्व्यपा था जल इधर उधर नीचे ऊपर जगह चुके वो का एकमेव प्रान बंकर ऐसे किस देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर ॐ ! सृष्टी निर्माता स्वर्ग रचायता पूर्वज रख्सा कर सत्य धर्मं पलक अतुल जल नियामक रक्षा कर फैली हैं दिशाएं बहु जैसी उसकी सब में सब पर ऐसी ही देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर ऐसी ही देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर......
Read more

Kanpur Coaching Gurus

Image
Memories of coaching days at Kanpur are inseparable from me. I have done a separate post on Kanpur coaching mandi only. The most remembered image of my coaching days was the advertisement of Ankush Bhatia by Pran classes, and it was pasted on each wall of Kanpur. His photo was spread at distant corners of the city, showing All India Rank 51. Never seen any local marketing campaign like this. Sometimes, I recall the rush of students from one coaching center to another for seat capture, xerox copying of assignments, and 'out-of-course' study material. The JEE course was never completed on time in the Kanpur coaching mandi. At the end of March, the mad rush to complete the course began with various test series taking place simultaneously. I could not forget that pressure till now. I will never forgive Anish, Pankaj, and Vishnoi sir for combining their individual treats into 1 party for JEE-qualified students. For information on the pre-2000 AD days of coaching mandi, check this l...
Read more

Book Review: The Jihad Game: Inside Pakistan’s Dark War by Abhinav Pandya

Image
The Jihad Game: Inside Pakistan’s Dark War by Abhinav Pandya The Jihad Game: Inside Pakistan’s Dark War by Abhinav Pandya | Goodreads ⭐⭐⭐⭐✰ Worth Reading India-Pakistan conflict (wars) is a challenging mostly negative-sum game where both countries are often in escalation cycles with no easy solution. The roots of the conflict, particularly cross-border terrorism supported by Pakistan trace back strongly to Kashmir.  Pakistan has long used Jihad   (religious war against infidels)   as a strategic tool in Kashmir, now reinforced by a nuclear umbrella. Kashmiri Muslims were predominantly Sunni Hanafi , practicing a syncretic, Sufi-influenced Islam shaped by local traditions (Rishiyat), shrine culture and coexistence with Kashmiri Pandits. What has changed over the years? Religious followership has shifted toward a more orthodox, radical Sunni Islamist and scriptural orientation  especially among youth. The 'Jihad Game' written by Abhinav Pandya (counter-terro...
Read more

On Tyranny

Now is a good time to re-read Tim Snyder's observations and advice in On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century . Here are observations from On Tyranny that seem especially pertinent. 1. Do not obey in advance. Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do. 2. Defend institutions. It is institutions that help us to preserve decency. They need our help as well. Do not speak of “our institutions” unless you make them yours by acting on their behalf. Institutions do not protect themselves. They fall one after the other unless each is defended from the beginning. So choose an institution you care about—a court, a newspaper, a law, a labor union—and take its side. 3. Beware the one-party state. The parties that remade states and suppressed rivals were not omnip...
Read more

Disturbing Trend in Civilization -3

I was trying to complete this series in the draft form long ago. Roshmi bombarded me with comments in 2nd part of the series and I became busy in reading history of Pakistan. While 3rd part of this trend comes to my notice during debate with my sister. There was talk about equality, merit and anti casteism without seeing the ground level discriminations practiced in the society. I recall only rough details of our conversation: - She was clearly seeing the 'quota' as a toy given to each section of society who makes fuss about it. She was holding very strong points over implementation of the anti-discriminatory laws and strict punishment to law breakers. It is not about the implication of laws but raising of consciousness over this issue. Upper caste Hindus how much they shout will never take action against one of their own over Dalit issues. It is that their conscience is not a public conscience but a caste conscience, imbued with values derived from caste. Quotacracy is indee...
Read more