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Thursday, April 8, 2010

Ab meri zindagi suru hue hai

Usually things improve after they touch a low point. The same is true for life. I was extreme optimistic till 19 years of my age. I was infatuated in an one sided love in the teenage life. Sad ending puts a break on it. Qualifying IIT was a goal and it was achieved after 2 years of preparation. Then, there was a big gap in the personal life. I stopped getting involved in the mainstream lifestyle of college and started wandering for unknown. Suddenly, a zeal to attain seriousness and scholastic pursuit captures me for a long time. It was like walking on wrong path for Self discovery...

I was obsessed in the love of cinema and then books. And, collection of knowledge was my only motto. I had completely forgotten that life is about emotions and ideas, not robotically taking the information that express them.

I had came to Hyderabad 15 months back with entrance to corporate life. There was flip flop of depression and moments of recovery frequently. I was utterly depressed and was feeling that sense of joy is vanishing from my life. Past was haunting and future appeared dark in this period. Whole idea of belief in 'purpose of life' was merely an escape from the monotonous, stupid and cruel present. Suddenly, a moment shines in my life. I realized that its not knowledge but love that is missing in the life.

Be – don't try to become. Then, I meet a person for whom I changed. I look on myself and find that there is nothing lovable in me. I am dead as a tombstone carrying dead weight of knowledge. Rather than enjoying the music of life, I am involved in search of its composer. What a pity of a sublime period of life !

I was afraid of change and didn't talk to others about my problems. Silence and philosophy were hiding the pains in the life and they were not providing any solution. I realized that all these theories of transition period are trash. Its self deceiving for escape into false memories and lethargy. You change in a moment and it happened for me. Life appears different and beautiful. I stopped complaining about world and its daily problem. Just become relaxed and started to love others...

Idea Sharing: I had an assumption, just want to share with you. Each culture is pushed by counter culture current in a moder nation. The nation which has foots deep sowed in the has reformation currents with loner timeline. This circular process of creation and annihilation goes in every part of world. This circular loop is unending and depends heavily on basic behaviour and nature of humans. I termed it as pendulum clock arrangement. That was buzzing in mind about perspective of changing times.

Reading is a good time pass and writing gives beautiful freedom of self expression. If you subscribed to Darwin's theory of evolution and natural selection as I do, blogger with content will prevail over voyeurs and stylist eventually at least in exposing truth naked. In the end, juggling of words will fail over emotional outburst of heart...

FYI, Build a site you (and your readers) will love is a lovely article about writing and blogging. Have a look and enjoy life, it will end soon :)


  1. Great! Two thumbs up!

    Well... thats all part of this journey called life... and will add to your repertoire of experience :)

  2. Cheering up nowdays. My repertoire of experience is quite retrospective. Life is bounded by relations, just living it unbounded with love. Wishing a happy life for you..

  3. some reflections.......which reflects as well on me....

    congrats on rediscovering the purpose or saying it the otherway around....letting lose yourself of the all these so called purposes.....

    Could not believe however -----
    "I look on myself and find that there is nothing lovable in me. I am dead as a tombstone carrying dead weight of knowledge."

    i think you will very well change your this view....thinking of past (smtm in future) that when you thought this way, you were not 100% right....

    but was nice one to read......

  4. Facing one's shadow is the toughest thing to do. Now that you have starting reflecting your own self, wish you moments full of life!

  5. Akash, Reading first line of yours puts me in joyous mood. Some emotions come on surface and i exclaimed :Ahh, life finds symmetry and similarity everywhere. Don't know how to react about rest of your comments. Yes, It will happen in future that I find myself wrong in the past...Good point, Liked it.

  6. Thefemaleme, Thanks for wishing me for the joyous life..Its hard to break circle of hope and depression but this time, I succeeded :)

  7. Yayaver this quote for you-
    "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

  8. Anubhava.. really loved those lines. This struggle is my life..

  9. nice one.

    Liked the Be and Become! :)

    Such kinda philosophy interests me !!!

  10. i never know truly what to say when people like my post. only can say thanks for liking it... philosophies, they are indeed interesting..



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