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Friday, September 12, 2008

Metamorphosis of Soul

I am a lucky person. I am not physically or mentally crippled. I am not an orphan. I was born and raised in family of moderate income which can sustain my education and hobbies. But what is the necessity of recalling these forgotten facts. Probability to starve and die as an infant is higher than to study in a quality technical institute in India. Instead of thanking almighty, we don’t even look at these facts carefully.

I am a Hindu by birth. My faith in the religion changes with time. Holy Scriptures were just parable and story books for me in childhood days. I was quite impressed by character of Karna, Bhishma and Bali. Life story of Gautama Buddha mesmerized and gives me the unnoticed picture of the world. The whole intake of stories for me was sacrifice for greater cause.

As the logic and maturity comes with the age, the pious faith in the god was uprooted. Currently, all religions are full of formalism and ritualism than pure devotion and love. Then, there were different phases of transformation of faith. Deist, Theist, Nihilist and Atheist were my beliefs changing with time gradually. Currently, I am humanist. It was never ending search for true way of living. Finally faith in God was totally gone. The world seems to be in chaos and full of sufferings.

I have read enough economics to appreciate the fact about money and morals to realize the evils of money. Hence, money became a necessity not the goal of life for me.

Everlasting thirst for fame became my sole objective. No field of work can give this eternal fame. All the pomp of power and boast of heraldry leads path to the grave. My name will be forgotten in 100 years in ordinary life. If, I become a person like Amitabh Bachhan, all will be forgotten in 1000 years. If, I become a person like Mahatma Gandhi, then it will be all gone in 10000 years. The thirst for fame appears to be vain and fruitless finally.

I am pursuing my career in field of science & technology. But the current science cannot give answer about ‘conscious’,’ life’ & ‘death’. I was attracted towards art, literature, cinema and music at leisure time. Slowly, these hobbies were converted into habits. To provoke thoughts by means of any activities became sole motto for me. Search for truth and eternity leads my path to philosophy and culture. I was keen student of Indian philosophy, culture and anthropology. I was on right track for search about mystery of life .this was confirmed by reading few writings of Aurobindo Ghosh, J.L. Nehru and S.Radhakrishnnan.

It came a period of emptiness after college life. It was not boring time but a constant struggle of thoughts and emotions. Then, it begins the search for ultimate truth. Truth is eternal and perfect for me. Anything which is destroyed by time and space is corrupt and incomplete. It was in the mind and heart all the time. I was in solitude and silence and self questioning about reality ignites the way of self realization. Spirituality is now mantra of life.

Metamorphosis of soul is not over yet meta-stability is reached. There is love, joy and rhythm in mine heart. I have not control over my heart but know the right path now. I have reached a state where word appears to be full of flaws than emotional truthfulness. I lack words to express my true feelings. There is a great sense of joy and peace with in conscious mind. I am transforming with time and also experiencing the flow of time. It’s all divine….

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