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Saturday, March 7, 2009

Frustoo side of me

Warning:Highly autobiographic post of a dejected,frustrated and confused person.

There is a question repetitively asked in the interview - "Where do you see yourself 3 years ahead in life?" The questionnaire cannot tell his/her professional future after 1 year. But the irony of fate stuck in your neck to predict the future. The astrologer inside you is liberated and a future dream mixed with pseudo-ethics pours from the answer. This is ridiculous and complete waste of time in judging potential. This is referenced here as an anecdote to start my story. Because I am finding no clue about me now. The uncertainty about future in determining my life is taking sacrifice of mine simple pleasures.

I am just living life from one day to another day.I had not read any book from last 2 months. The dyslexic inability to read literature is appearing in me. I feel very low like a pebble stone trampled by mob. Ever heard of a person to whom no wants to look but no one knows what to do with him.I am the one.

I have became obsessed with orkut and blog these days. People love sarcastic or romantic blog these days. I had forsaken sarcasm and cannot capture love with empty heart. Hence, none to write here for the readers. My blog is a live example of mediocre manipulation of ideas. I capture, fuse, hybrid and share the concepts in the blog. Inspirational diversion is prime motto to start the blog. I will be dishonest if i say that i do not like people reading my post and commenting on it. I had put 'recent comments' widget in my blog to be give feedback to the people as soon as possible. I am currently collecting and compiling data from the notes. I encapsulate lines from the others and engineer the article in presentable form. Originality given by me is just manipulation and presentation of facts in thematic way. I also put a abstract or sarcastic photograph to attract attention. Fake and cheap...

I do not live in present. I roam in the futuristic dreams and always suffer from the nostalgia of past. I live like phantom in my own life with no awareness of surroundings. I take a ghost walk around the life of others in my thoughts. With the minute observation,the blending & writing of fiction with facts have became my favourite hobby. I cultivate the seeds of others idea to enrich my soul. The barren soul captures only echo of hollowness in return. Hence,I am soaked in the gloomy mood. I am just a nasty creature wanting pity of others through comments. Pitch blackness is in front of my eyes. This is a confession of shallow blogger who always sounds like preacher. Enough frustration to the reader is given by me. Avoid the post. I need either a kick in the ass or chill booze or solitude with silence.In the end,

“Do I continually have to prove to myself that I exist?"


  1. Get over it man, find your brighter side.....

  2. How fucked all our lives are dude!!
    I know that I do exist and that is the problem with me as I cannot find a single reason as to why I should!
    And of course u'll soon get two things u need.. wait 4 5 more days :)

  3. I think everyone can only dream of the future, long of the past. I don't think human beings can quite meet the present.

  4. Maithilisharan Gupt ki kavita to padhi hogi tumne..kuch panktian main likh raha hoon..

    "Sambhalo ki suyog na jaye chala,
    Kab vyartha hua sadupaya bhala,
    Samjho na jag ko nira sapna,
    path aap prashasta karo apna,
    Ishwar ha avalamban ko,
    Nar ho na nirash karo man ko.."

    Rock on!!*WINK*

  5. @Madman,i am searching for brighter side but office work exhausts me.

    @aragorn,yaa i am back in form but life is just one damn thing after another.thanks for supporting in hour od need.

    @Matt,I am still find it hard to understand the transitory nature of time.And u are quite amazing person that from nowhere you come to this blog.Meaning from NY to India its far in both geographical distance and thinking pattern.Anyway,I agree with your point about human nature and time.

  6. @utakarsha,
    Dhanyawad yeh pankteyaan yaad dilane ke liye.Pad ke bahut achha laga,ek aash man mein jage hai..

  7. It's definitely something I think about quite a bit. How we perceive time is just as wonky as how we perceive anything else- how do I know the way you perceive the "present" is the same way that I do- no more than I can confirm that the color I see as "red" is the color you see as "red"? For all I know, your "red" is my "green"- how can we see- the only way to describe colors is describing the objects they relate to- red is... red. a darker orange? the fact that these perceptions, these staples of fact, time, color, distance, are not staples of fact at all, is fascinating...



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