Notice: I will kill the guy who will plagiarize this creation. I am damn serious.
Walking Diary
1st scene
Two Boys:One wearing che guevera t-shirt
1st guy: You are wearing a T shirt with image of Che on it!!!
2nd guy: who the heck is he in this world? I absolutely have no clue about this man except that it looks cool.
1st guy: People should be banned from wearing ‘Ernesto Che Guevara’ t-shirts who absolutely have no clue about the man and his sacrifice.
2nd guy: Did he was an important American rock star or soccer player….
1st guy: Never mind about that stuff, lets go; Guru (3rd guy) must be waiting….
2nd scene
A beautiful girl on side ways and both boys on walk
1st guy: What a beauty!!!!
1st guy: Hey, you noticed that chic. She is hot…
2nd guy: Do you only see the beauty of girls in this whole world? There is hunger, poverty and unemployment around you…
2nd guy: I got sometimes mad by these sites. People walk with the ignorance and cold heart. I hate viewing those stony eyes.
1st guy: (Giving Lal Salaam to2nd guy) Are you frustrated or someone rebuked you in the front of beloved one?
1st guy: Be practical in life.
1st guy: Go to China and Russia, see the oppression of people. Fussing about communism in this lighter mode! Hey relax, man...
1st guy: (whispering) you cannot talk so loud in those countries…
1st guy: You have really damned my mood. I am just priest of beauty like Keats...
2nd guy: You bastard comparing yourself with Keats. I will die with laugh. Such an exaggeration!
1st guy: Move fast, long road is ahead of you
(Both of them sigh at the long and unending road)
3rd scene
In front of temple or religious place
2nd guy: (hailing in front of temple) really marx was correct. The religion is opium for masses…
1st guy: Not in India my friend, only cricket and bollywood are unofficial religion…..
4th scene
View of a dead man (corpse)
1st guy: I hate seeing corpses on the road. It gives me a draconic feeling.
2nd guy: Man, you live in India; A place with 110 crore population. People born and die here on streets. Listen...
2nd guy: Life, disease, and death have always been more visible in India than in another country of west. Children play cricket on the road; shirtless elders chat sitting on the front deck of their houses. Everyone is free to piss on the road. Death is a visible event. You talk like a tourist from west.
1st guy: It is not originally your words.
2nd guy: Just lifted from a blog. It was good lines so just delivering dialogue as a hero of parallel cinema.
(Laugh with deep sense of respect of each other)
1st guy: Hey, I am fultoo Indian from heart. Do no inspect my foreign brand T-shirt. Do you really have met any foreigner in whole life except Bangladeshis and Nepalese?
2nd guy: Nope. I find them disgusting. They are just bunch of escapists - floating through life on the strength of a favorable exchange rate.
1st guy: But my heart feels otherwise. They all could just as well be lying on a beach in Goa sipping tequilas. But they are here in spiritual places on some kind of personal quest.
2nd guy: (urging voice) Correction needed here. They are traveling at religious places not spiritual.
1st guy: (Hands and head bowed) ‘mai baap sarkar’.I am just a simple “aam aadmi”. I have pinned down a hornets nest. Do not open the pain and sufferings of artistic cinema in front of me. I am seeing enough art in life. Let me emphasis on mine entertainment while you work on society development.
5th scene
(Two guys and Guru in open place near tea stall)
Guru: Welcome ‘Changu’ and ‘Mangu’. You seem to remind me of contrast characters in life. One walking left in theology and other right wing activist.
Guru: Take a sip of this royal tea and enjoy the beauty of nature. Transitory world add charms to this dusk.
2nd guy: Sun rise and Sunset are optical illusions. The earth revolves…..
1st Guy: life is simple time span to express you. Why to waste a beautiful scene with scientific views. Just have a belief in what you observe with open heart.
Guru: Life is not about facts or fiction or about right or wrong. Roles of person are interchanged in his short cinema of life.
Guru: Life is full of paradoxes and mysteries. I do not waste my breath in decoding these puzzles of philosophy. There are certain times in our life when world appear to be nostalgic, insomniac and full of chaos. Identity crisis surrounds you. The world is nothing but mirror of desires and work of all people. Everyone wants to change the world from his point of view.Then,why so serious....
Guru: (Lighting a cigarette & smoking in space): To green world.…
1st guy & 2nd guy: (Cheering tea kulhads): To world peace (A serious laugh)
The End
By Himanshu Rai
Dedicated to Varun Grover
oh my . scriptwriting is my dream. go ahead, write more. maybe i'll get encouraged by reading ur blog and start my own blog abt scriptwriting. so, this is for a movie or a tv show or drama?
ReplyDeleteWhen I write script, I add the scenes details to it. For example, the scene is in interior/exterior. Day/Night. Setting. Purpose of the dialogue. Costume. Lighting. I think these all constitute to "Production Design" aspect which I learnt in my Drama class. See this link >> http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GGLR_en___US240&q=show+dont+tell
ReplyDeleteScene 5's first 2 lines are like narrating details about guy1 and guy2. I think you should need to show their actions, and dont lable the characters in the beginning only. Guru is, as if, labeling the characters are "right wing" and "theology wala" and limiting the character's movements. Apologies if I've wrote too much, I dont wanna be a smart ass here on this blog. You've written a script and its a very good attempt, I havent even yet brought myself to write anything. Salute to you!
Why dedicate something to ANYBODY? I don't think u have a valid reason here.
ReplyDeleteIn any case...I went through it and here are my comments:
1. Lots of thoughts. Too many ideas put together in a single short story.
2. The format can be improved...though there is no fixed format...the basic idea is - when u read a screenplay, nothing should be left to imagination (unless u want it that way). So describe everything,...the setting, the time of the day, the age/feel/look of the characters...and their accents/walk/get-up etc.
3. on a story level - 2 guys with different philosophies walking through a city and interpreting the city in their own ways is nice but it doesn't translate into a good script. The guys appear confused or trying too hard to impress each other (or may be the reader) rather than have a deep, clear talk about the things they feel. In fact...they apeear mostly incoherent throughout.
4. Language is too amateurish. Why are u writing in English when u have grammar issues? I mean...it could be very well in Hindi...and may be do better in Hindi. Have u really met guys who speak words like 'Guru' and still converse in English? Try to be as realistic as possible...and you have to work on ur language a lot. It sounds too forced and unreal right now.
5. GFet ur hands on some real film scripts ( i think u will get loads of them on simplyscripts dot com) and start reading them in depth. It takes reading just 3-4 good screenplays to get to know the craft. And then, be true to ur story. Try writing a one page story about what ur screenplay is going to be. Don't straightaway jump into dialogues...it will work wonders for u.
Writing needs loads of hard-work...but the good thing is it needs only hardwork. So if u put that in - things will change drastically...and soon enough.
Best wishes...
hello sir, it was not possible for me to give any suggestion or comment on such type stuff.But i am very happy to read this stuff.try your best.
ReplyDelete@red soul
ReplyDeleteThanks for your valuable suggestion.I will incorporate this into my writing.
hey nice attempt......nice piece of writing...keep it up..
ReplyDeleteThnx manas for words of encouragement.
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