I don't know what to write today. The blank spaces between mine words have more meanings than this whole blog. Now, few words for world around me. When we win a match against Pak in Hockey World cup, certainly times appear good if we look at confident India. Then, three continuous defeats expose our inability to change and do vocal politics.
After acute crisis majority of people returns to sense, and then again going numb with time. The “His troubles, his miseries & his problems will fall on my head if I support him” is part of our whole system in the country. In a talk the famous historian Antony Beevor gave at the Galle Literary Festival recently,he made an interesting point. While bemoaning the lack of historical accuracy in much of the media, he said we had entered a “post-literate phase”. By this he meant that images had superseded the printed word as the vehicle for disseminating history. Consequently, TV and movies now determine which historical narrative is believed.
Personal Life: 'Let's make life interesting' and be more social in interaction with others. That was my motto of change. I had written in my diary one months ago that "Its so tough to push yourself for something you have never done. Preaching others about discipline and simplicity is much easier task but following it much tougher. I am trying to tame myself in discipline and a minimum level of presentableness. I am trying to change and each moment of transition is pain ." I failed somewhere in the transition and caught between my desires and goals like Trishanku. I was lacking will power but not motivation. Still, its consequences are devastating.
I want to return to old life of loneliness. I don't want to continue this life of extrovert and express my feelings completely. I tried to change and people misunderstood me. When you believe in open society, it reflects in your nature. People listen less, understand minimum and assume more. I am again back against wall alone. I want to drink Vodka and kill my consciousness some time. One person trusted me and believed that I can change. I changed but it is appearing futile now. I will again go back in my cave of silence and solitude. The world didn't need me, its better for me to keep mouth shut and die. I create myself in the mirror of others and now annihilating same personality. The death of the heart is the saddest thing that can happen to you. And, I died yesterday...
Thought of the Day :One of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die. -Franz Kafka
Read few links for knowledge:
1- How an artist was shorn : Husain sees through an idol, giving it a form that may outrage some, but is not inconsistent with India’s aesthetic explain Salil Tripathi.
2- A university's tryst with rural health: The story of an anti-HIV/AIDS programme in Tamil Nadu's Namakkal district may hold many lessons for the health professional and policy-planner.
3- Allah’s Left The Building: Meant for Muslim welfare, Wakf lands are being sold for a song by its trustees.
4- Mr Chidambaram’s War: Arundhuti Roy opposes military action in Maoist affected areas.
5- Of all the voices that opposed the introduction of Bt brinjal, one was most significant — that of 84-year old T V Jagadisan, the former MD of Monsanto India. Interview with Tehelka reveal his view point.
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