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Sunday, March 7, 2010

Let's make life interesting !!!

I don't know what to write today. The blank spaces between mine words have more meanings than this whole blog. Now, few words for world around me. When we win a match against Pak in Hockey World cup, certainly times appear good if we look at confident India. Then, three continuous defeats expose our inability to change and do vocal politics.

After acute crisis majority of people returns to sense, and then again going numb with time. The “His troubles, his miseries & his problems will fall on my head if I support him” is part of our whole system in the country. In a talk the famous historian Antony Beevor gave at the Galle Literary Festival recently,he made an interesting point. While bemoaning the lack of historical accuracy in much of the media, he said we had entered a “post-literate phase”. By this he meant that images had superseded the printed word as the vehicle for disseminating history. Consequently, TV and movies now determine which historical narrative is believed.

Personal Life: 'Let's make life interesting' and be more social in interaction with others. That was my motto of change. I had written in my diary one months ago that "Its so tough to push yourself for something you have never done. Preaching others about discipline and simplicity is much easier task but following it much tougher. I am trying to tame myself in discipline and a minimum level of presentableness. I am trying to change and each moment of transition is pain ." I failed somewhere in the transition and caught between my desires and goals like Trishanku. I was lacking will power but not motivation. Still, its consequences are devastating.

I want to return to old life of loneliness. I don't want to continue this life of extrovert and express my feelings completely. I tried to change and people misunderstood me. When you believe in open society, it reflects in your nature. People listen less, understand minimum and assume more. I am again back against wall alone. I want to drink Vodka and kill my consciousness some time. One person trusted me and believed that I can change. I changed but it is appearing futile now. I will again go back in my cave of silence and solitude. The world didn't need me, its better for me to keep mouth shut and die. I create myself in the mirror of others and now annihilating same personality. The death of the heart is the saddest thing that can happen to you. And, I died yesterday...

Thought of the Day :One of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die. -Franz Kafka

Read few links for knowledge:

1- How an artist was shorn : Husain sees through an idol, giving it a form that may outrage some, but is not inconsistent with India’s aesthetic explain Salil Tripathi.

2- A university's tryst with rural health: The story of an anti-HIV/AIDS programme in Tamil Nadu's Namakkal district may hold many lessons for the health professional and policy-planner.

3- Allah’s Left The Building: Meant for Muslim welfare, Wakf lands are being sold for a song by its trustees.

4- Mr Chidambaram’s War: Arundhuti Roy opposes military action in Maoist affected areas.

5- Of all the voices that opposed the introduction of Bt brinjal, one was most significant — that of 84-year old T V Jagadisan, the former MD of Monsanto India. Interview with Tehelka reveal his view point.


  1. Bhaiya u said u tried changing nd what appears is pl were din appreciate the change in u bt i think u changed for urself nd if u again sink in to ur lonely world nd no longer remain the extrovert u r, then hw will u induce the much needed change???
    I dun not know bt some tyms i m torn apart the need to be silent as others r nd let things shape up as they r nd then i feel that i shud nt remain as one among so many ppl hu just r so comfortably numb bt isn't it lyk a setback when ppl fail to understand hu u actually are nd hate u coz u r very vocal...
    a big dilemma for me....

  2. Yaa Deboshree, u are correct and I am acting like a coward who wants to return to his own periphery of privacy. When u extend your world and another person's life is affected by your actions, it hurts. That person has helped me to destruct this wall of silence. I am also in dilemna but it is easy to fight lies than gossips & comments. I am just taking my time to be silent and let the mist around be settled. I have thought to be diplomatic with others and truthful to that one person. Until that one person trust me completely and ignore comments, let me play the rule of man who treats everyone according to his priorities. By becoming silent the purpose is lost, but by becoming vocal, I am outcaste. Such is the life.

    Let me tell u a story: Even a man like Buddha contemplated for seven days before uttering a single word. When he attained to enlightenment for seven days he remained utterly silent. wavering whether to say anything or not. The question was: Those who cannot understand, what is the point of saying to them such profound insights? They will misunderstand, they will misinterpret, they w ill do harm to the message. Rather than allowing the message to heal them they will wound the message itself – they will manipulate the message according to their minds, prejudices. Is it right to allow the message to be polluted by foolish people, by mediocre people, by stupid people?

    Buddha was hesitant, very hesitant. Yes, he also thought of the few people who would be able to understand it, but then he could see that ”Those people who will be able to understand my words will be able to find truth on their own because they cannot be ordinary people, they will be superintelligent people, only then will they be able to understand what I am saying to them. If they can understand my words they will be able to find their own way, they will be able to reach the truth on their own, so why bother about them? Maybe it will take a little longer for them. So what? – because there is eternity, time is not short. But the message, once it gets into the wrong hands, will be corrupted forever.” Even to utter he was hesitant.

  3. hmmm.....
    You are right in the way you put it across, that's what some people tell me possilby coz i m youner so in an easier way"Don't give free advices!!".
    Yaaa and being dipolmatic is so very necessary now a days coz that has now become the driving force to survival, yes u r right when u say that we have got to make our choice in letting ppl know of our pearls of wisdom, i hope that one person does justice to your personality and understands you and seers you out of all your problems and then the world will know the power in ur thoughts, i already know the power :)
    i am sure you 'll succeed

  4. Nice post...I can vividly empathize the post...what i feel there is nothing wrong in being introvert..which i feel I am but still i am enjoying my life...but don't be coward...(which I constantly remind myself)...My philosophy of life is....If people are not understanding you...actually they are not need to explain yourself ...let them come and understand you...

  5. Deboshree & Amit, I have nothing to say against any one anymore. I am also trying to get out of this feeling of misery and self pity. Life is beautiful gift and love is not about posesiveness. I learned this lesson: When the student is ready , the teacher will come. So there is no need for me to worry about me or others. We change because someone belives in your inner soul. Currently Meditating for peace :)

  6. Yayaver...No matter how hard anyone try ,no one can understand why people do the things they do OR why we don't do the things we don't.When trying to understand even the most fundamental things around us ,my efforts always reach a dead end.The guilt of not going out and execute the thing which we so vehemently promised to ourselves,consume us.I have a strong feeling that if we think too much , we'll end up like John of The Brave New World.So here's what I do ,I imagine myself hung up in outer space.I mean really imagine ! Ohh...its so peaceful here.Earth looks like a speck.Do I even care now about who likes/dislikes me.....or there's an earthquake in Chile.....or what I wanna do with my life except getting lost in universe...

  7. Arora, You have done a good step by imagining yourself out of space. Try to understand and all things & beings become messed up. Don't worry about me now. I am in peace from past 2 days with myself. I had just stopped thinking about past or planning about future. And expressing myself fully, just check my facebook status :)

  8. Jahanpanah, you are aboslutely right about unification point if the culture is not supportive. I am saying about dilemma of the 2nd generation mainly. The point of weblink is in explaining the act of self righteousness is common in Muslim neighbourhood in Western countries. Like, if you will not celebrate local festival with Christian neighbourhood and condemn them in mosque, a set of schizophrenia will come into the mind of next generation. Point of belief about your absolute righteousness and looking everything with contempt had always brought misery on such immigrants.

  9. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. Many bloggers and writers are basically introverts - some talk, some write, some do both. Sometimes we change from being reticent to becoming very social - some people are extroverts with some people and don't say much in company of many others.

    Many of these changes happen automatically - you trust people, you are comfortable with someone and you will automatically become an extrovert with them after a while. If the company is nosy, critical or prying it can turn many an extroverts into recluses.

    I feel just be yourself :) You write with amazing clarity - loved whatever I have read of your blog yet. I am subscribing to it, will be reading it regularly.

  10. Thanks for subscribing to the blog. You had yourself such vast readership that it feels good to be read by a famous blogger. Your suggestion are really what I was thinking after the whole event. There is much resonance in our thoughts. A person should not change his nature for others. But, I feel that we all change for the person or things we love... Sometime change is progress, mine it was failure. People understand it as showoff for impression rather than expression. Currently, living life as bohemian.. with full of heart and no usage of brain. Enjoying this experiment :)



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