Ab meri zindagi suru hue hai

Usually things improve after they touch a low point. The same is true for life. I was extreme optimistic till 19 years of my age. I was infatuated in an one sided love in the teenage life. Sad ending puts a break on it. Qualifying IIT was a goal and it was achieved after 2 years of preparation. Then, there was a big gap in the personal life. I stopped getting involved in the mainstream lifestyle of college and started wandering for unknown. Suddenly, a zeal to attain seriousness and scholastic pursuit captures me for a long time. It was like walking on wrong path for Self discovery...

I was obsessed in the love of cinema and then books. And, collection of knowledge was my only motto. I had completely forgotten that life is about emotions and ideas, not robotically taking the information that express them.

I had came to Hyderabad 15 months back with entrance to corporate life. There was flip flop of depression and moments of recovery frequently. I was utterly depressed and was feeling that sense of joy is vanishing from my life. Past was haunting and future appeared dark in this period. Whole idea of belief in 'purpose of life' was merely an escape from the monotonous, stupid and cruel present. Suddenly, a moment shines in my life. I realized that its not knowledge but love that is missing in the life.

Be – don't try to become. Then, I meet a person for whom I changed. I look on myself and find that there is nothing lovable in me. I am dead as a tombstone carrying dead weight of knowledge. Rather than enjoying the music of life, I am involved in search of its composer. What a pity of a sublime period of life !

I was afraid of change and didn't talk to others about my problems. Silence and philosophy were hiding the pains in the life and they were not providing any solution. I realized that all these theories of transition period are trash. Its self deceiving for escape into false memories and lethargy. You change in a moment and it happened for me. Life appears different and beautiful. I stopped complaining about world and its daily problem. Just become relaxed and started to love others...

Idea Sharing: I had an assumption, just want to share with you. Each culture is pushed by counter culture current in a moder nation. The nation which has foots deep sowed in the has reformation currents with loner timeline. This circular process of creation and annihilation goes in every part of world. This circular loop is unending and depends heavily on basic behaviour and nature of humans. I termed it as pendulum clock arrangement. That was buzzing in mind about perspective of changing times.

Reading is a good time pass and writing gives beautiful freedom of self expression. If you subscribed to Darwin's theory of evolution and natural selection as I do, blogger with content will prevail over voyeurs and stylist eventually at least in exposing truth naked. In the end, juggling of words will fail over emotional outburst of heart...

FYI, Build a site you (and your readers) will love is a lovely article about writing and blogging. Have a look and enjoy life, it will end soon :)

Life is calling, Where are you ?

I share a different me with each relationship. Sometimes friendly, intimate, affectionate, diplomatic, cold and even harsh behaviour can be observed. It appears as I have many parallel lives running inside me. Its very hard to behave and enjoy the life simultaneously. The consequence of this split personality is unhappiness and constant struggle inside consciousness.

Merging all personality into one. I am taking the risk of becoming one and may be alone in life. Reasoning can never transforms anybody but only love or hate ! As, we are dominated by the unconscious, not by the conscious. Loving everybody without duality of kin or stranger is producing harmony inside me.

Seriousness and possessiveness is a sickness created by ego. Let the life flow and live in present. Mind lives in future and past but only heart knows the beauty of each passing moment. Laugh, dance, sing and make joy...

Be aware of the moment. Don't try to concentrate on the narrow point. Be attentive without any frontiers. Mediation is not Yoga, its just being existence without any thoughts. Nothingness is the route of inner peace. Devoid of desires...

Life is beautiful because its insecure and fragile. Death awaits us next moment and all of our plans will sublime with us. No trace will be left anywhere. The way to love and live is to realize that all will end next moment....

"Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love - now you are love. " -Osho.

If you can’t dance, why join the revolution?

Bamboo flowers grow in span of 45-50 years and a famine struck the place with their flowering. Turbulent times produce turbulent lives. Centralization to decentralization happens in cyclic way, Indian or International level. So this circular needs keep the organization going, otherwise extreme of any path leads but to the decay. Mediocre to merit is next push. Rise of middle class is there through economic reforms. Next phase of reforms needed in pushing benefits to labour class. Those who are capable will be able to endure the hard times and visualize the better future.

Rural Management notion is still on in my heart. The problem of rural India is not unemployment but its unemployable individuals. Run NGO like business but with non profit motive. I don't hate technology, just not so efficient and pro active in this field. The intuition for change or new step is quite low. Columbus "discovered" America because apparently 25 million Native Americans don't count. I don't want me or anyone to discover this with rural India. I just want to experience myself on a pathless path in love of my country. And they say also, " Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one ". I am ready to wander this path for seeking myself.

"There is a pleasure in the pathless woods, There is rapture on the onely shore, There is society, where none intrudes, By the deep sea, and music in lits roar: I love not man the less, but Nature more." ~Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage. 

I have wings not the roots. Hence, preparing for Rural management this year again. To each his/her own life. Enjoy the revolution with joy and fun !!!

Check : Why IRMA? & IRMA Alumni Association
Also check the video was shot during the GD-PI process of PRM 30. It was presented during Abhivyakti by PRM 29. Quite asking the statement of purpose of preparation: