Abre Los Ojos

A Spanish Matrix:Abre Los Ojos (Open your eyes)
From there Amenábar launches into a romantic thriller developing into illusion mixed of thriller-mystery and finally verging on science fiction drama, in which real life becomes inter-meshed with programmed dream-life.
Ingenious, imaginative film keeps you guessing until the end. Although the plot is confusing at times, a second viewing helps to untangle and resolve the complicated story about dreams and reality. Most of the time, I was not sure if what I was watching is really happening or whether it is a intensely disturbing nightmare. The ending is tense, mysterious and it keeps you guessing to the last what really the truth is.

César (Eduardo Noriega) has been left rich by his restaurant owning parents. When he meets the beautiful Sofia at a party he uses her as a way to escape his jealous ex girlfriend Nuria. After a night of talking with Sofia, César is picked up by Nuria who crashes her car deliberately killing her and horribly disfiguring him. With surgery limited as to what it can achieve César despairs at his loss (his looks, not Nuria) and tries to pick up with Sofia. However, when surgery returns his looks he thinks everything is solved – but his dreams become more vivid blurring his sense of reality. In flash forwards we also see César talking with a psychiatrist in a guarded mental hospital where he waits trail for murder . César is wearing a mask because he thinks his face is still messed up. The psychiatrist tells him that his face looks normal, he asks him if he remembered anything. He tells his fragmented story to a psychiatrist. His life in shambles, Sofia beyond reach, and virtually a freak of nature, he decides to take one last step in regaining his lost life... and here is when the film becomes something totally unpredictable.

The last act, in which everything gets explained (or does it?), is truly inspired. As Cesar finally understands the implications (this bad dream is one he himself has invented) the film becomes truly impulsive. It's a deranged but entirely gripping climax to a movie which takes one unpredictable turn after another. At the level of writing, you have two friends, one the protagonist, the other his conscience. The protagonist deals with two girlfriends, one affirms his self-image, one destroys it; Towards the end of the film, we are presented with two alternating theories of what is going on.

One is that the hero is living in a virtual world that he can only be revived from when he "dies" in it, and the other is that people who want access to his money want to con him into making that happen, only for real. The final act of the film is a constant struggle between these two theories that the viewer is only made aware of when they both teeter on the edge of victory.

Only when mystery gets "explained" to him does he realise how ridiculous it all is. Thin line between dream and reality disappear. He tries to achieve realistic (or illusionist) death in the end and then the nightmare starts again. It would appear that in the world of "Abre los ojos", anything is possible.

This review is impossible without mentioning Vanilla Sky .I mean not only is it a remake of ALO(Abre Los Ojos) but it's almost scene for scene the exact same movie .In fact Penelope Cruz in the exact same role as the original! The ending of Vanilla Sky pretty much explains everything. Abre Los Ojos leaves most of it up to interpretation and the viewers' imagination.

The acting is very rich, believable and many times raw with emotion and character. The visual imagery is absolutely stunning at certain points. A scene that takes place in a park when Penelope Cruz and Eduardo Noriega meet for the first time after his accident is incredibly beautiful and emotionally devastating. There is quality photography in the film: The rain in the park and before that the reflections of foliage flashing in the car windows with glimpses of tense faces. This surrealist fantasy from Spain is a unbelievable piece of cinema. Despite pain of watching it with subtitles, Open Your Eyes is a tale of beauty.

1st Lecture

Going through lanes of memory, I find ITBHU so heartwarming that it always cheers me to love this college. 1st lecture was the best of all the lectures attended by me in ITBHU till today.

Our college had started after all the formalities and this was the first day. Most daring guy was Kapil aka Sandoo. He was 6 foot tall and heavily built, so he roamed and surfed Internet on HG without any fear of rag on previous evening. Now we had planned to move to the class together at 7:30 only to attend the class of 8:00 am. It was the first decision (and i think last also) that the whole batch supported in one chores. In our batch movement, 3 guys were in front of the line: Guptaji, Bhadwa and Sandoo.

Now,we were going to our classes in the morning with getting good/cuss words from the seniors passing beside us on bicycles. They were strictly trying to make a queue of our batch.The good words were in the Hindi language bit slightly in different dialect and word power was quite good .That language,I call now as Chatra Bhasha. I saw my friend Pulkit Srivastava who was in 2nd electronics then passing by with a sardar sitting on his cycle; But i did not call him and just keep moving ahead with my batch of Mech-08. Then there was a call from a senior to give him a way on the path and my batchmate vijay got his nickname, Hathi.............
After all these obstructions, we finally managed to reach in our class before time.

That 1 hour class was disastrous and held at ground floor(G5 i think). Problem was that at ground floor classes of Civil, Mechanical and Electrical department (off coarse seniors only) take place. We entered in the class calmly and more relaxed after such a long march. What happened after was really hilarious and also memorable. Due to mistake in our timetable, both 3rd Mech. and 1st Mech. were in the same room. Hence, there was entry of 3rd Mech; Daduu log aa gaye. So starts the PDP(Personality Development Program).

They started catching us first by distinguishing us from the cities from which we have arrived. Kanpur(G####ur) was the name of my city told to me by the seniors and all cities were given new name under it. Kota (kothaa) and Jaipur(ja###r) were the other two most popular cities. I was then told that 50% Delhi wale Lund hote hain (Not my humble opinion, sorry all Delhites). I was getting the full idea of my background of Kanpur and seniors asked me to say few words in the praise of my colleague sitting next to me. Then, I used my vast knowledge (yet marginal in compared to engineering guys but enough for school going teens) and just speak flawlessly the versatile Kanpuriya slangs. I think words were coming out like bullets because of my experience in Kanpur Coaching Mandi. Then, a senior remarked "Aa gaya ek aur sala Kanpuriya". That was said in praise of me as Kanpur was ill famous for its guys who can speak fluently and innovate any new abusive phrase.

Scenario of the whole class was more entertaining than my personal encounter at that moment. We did not have to look in eyes of seniors and also to give our INTRO. It was bit difficult for some guys to whom it was unexpected. Intro was prepared by us in English but it was argued (not correct word here) by seniors that as we study in Hindu university so our intro should be in Hindi: Cultural Language. That was not easy for me also, but rather was impossible for rest of the class.

I was then ordered to ask the name and native place of some people sitting in a row: I do not remember the name of persons whom i asked about him(no her) in chatra bhasha only. Since my colleagues could not raise their head, they did not know even today (till now) that i was that guy with foul words, not any seniors. Varun Murli was there surely there because no one comes in our batch from down south Trivandrum. I was really happy till that moment. In a flash, I viewed the whole condition of the class. It was laughable. I think 3 persons(AGP was sure in them) were there on the Teachers desk throwing bombs on the enemy. They had not just to throw bombs but also to give the music effect of explosion. Dance shows (not angara dance) but sapera and nagin dance was going on superbly in the space between front row and blackboard. Performance of Muzzra was also a major attraction in the classroom. Contradictory to our dashing performances, studies were going in next classroom. Our seniors shows us, how things can be handled easily or we can a say a lesson on Management. They just mingled between us and ragged (sorry, its banned word) pdpied us without disturbing the other parallel classes.

Outside of our class, now came a senior professor just on his way to somewhere. On seeing freshers with 3rd yearites, he shouted "what the hell is going on here?" Till this time none of the teacher of both batches had arrived in class. Gopu at the last moment was throwing a brick outside our class when professor comes in. He was not leaving the brick till a senior took his brick and throw it away on arrival of two teachers.

I forget to mention that there was only 1 girl in our batch and their batch, what a wonderful resemblance!! Some of us have to go to our Daadi(Pooja Shukla) and give his intro also. A Railgadee game was also played in just front of them. Somewhere Ninety maarna process was going on till late moments. We tried to laugh by seeing our batch mates position but were silenced by the mighty seniors. If anybody laughed then; MUSKI process was implanted to him thoroughly. All of this end with the lectures when some teachers disperse us and seniors. But now a bond has been made between us, seniors and this Institute which will be with us till our last breathe.

Old Saying of Jungle

From the first dawn on earth,the mouth of Jackal, the glut of Eagle, the hands of Apes and the eyes of Man are never filled.

Theorem

8 monkey theorem-------------------

Came across this one recently on the website. Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder. A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey. One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why...

This also holds very well for many of the traditional and religious cultures and social settings that we follow day in day out in our families !!!

Remembering India

“कुछ बात है कि हस्ती मिट-ती नहीं हमारी, सदियों रहा है दुश्मन, दौरे ज़माना हमारा!”

It is not often that I became patriotic in mood and shed some tears on the past event of history. Now in Germany, I am just learning about my Dharma and Nation vividly. People are curious to know about my country and its people.

I am feeling certain change in myself and now my attachments to India is increased. It may be the separation and isolation of myself, but really feeling PROUD TO BE INDIAN.

Pather Panchali

Pather Panchali(1955) : A Film By Satyajit Ray.In spite of poverty and death the film leaves one not depressed but moved, filled with the beauty, and subtle glare of life. The film suggests an intimate relationship between loss and growth or destruction and creation. Simply this movie depicts human documentary in the native village of Bengal.

The word Pather literally means "of the path" in Bengali. Panchali refers to a type of narrative folk song. So the name of movie is "Song of the Road". It's based on a novel by a Bengali author named Bibhutibhushan Bandyopadhyay. Plot of movie is around of time of 1920’s. I have watched this movie recently and feel bit boring but very realistic at era in which it was made. The movie is not melodramatically sad but it is realistically sad. Although Ray did take liberties with the plot, he couldn't change so much so as to remove all the negative aspects from the story altogether. Sorrow and grief are inseparable from the real life. We have few moments of cherish that optimize us in the ages of gloominess. These emotions of happiness & sadness are mutually exclusive to each other. For the cinematic material dictated in the movie, a very slow rhythm determined by nature, the landscape, the country was necessary so that ray can stick to authentic version of novel.

The character of Sarbajaya, Apu and Durga are the three main storytellers through which whole movie was narrated. Ray reveals the love between members of a family in every situation.

The relationship between the brother and sister is so nice to watch. The sequences of Apu and elder sister Durga, exploring their little world and sharing secrets are most remarkable aspect of the film. These include the scenes of - discovery of train by Durga and Apu in field of white Kash flowers and the candy seller sequence.In the inspired 'candy-seller' sequence, as Durga and Apu secretly relish tamarind paste, their mother is complaining about hardships to their father. Durga hears a faint bell. She knows it is the candy-seller. Both go out and look longingly at the the pots with sweets in them. Durga sends Apu to ask for money from their father. Mother intervenes, and Apu returns empty handed. But the site of the pot-bellied candy-seller caring two bobbing pots of sweets is too tempting to resist. Both start following him. A stray dog joins the procession as it is reflected in a shimmering pond. The shadow of them in ponds just fuses the external world of theirs into internal silence inside us. The film develops its characters and the atmosphere slowly and resolutely. The narrative builds up to a powerful climax as we begin to attach to the film.

The ending was quite tragic personally for me. We see speechless Apu, for the first time taking the center stage in the story. Till now the story was seen through the point of view of either Sarbajaya or Durga. It is only in these final moments that we see Apu as an independent individual. Now his father decided to move to Varanasi, a city and leave behind all the past. In last scene the home of ancestor, a civilized place shows to be destroyed in ruins and human life still going despite death, grief and pain. Generally looking at broad prospective look how it shows the migration of people in India from villages to cities due to problem of poverty and other thing faced by them. The villages suffered a lot due to feminine or floods. Today the shift in population from village to cities (local to global) is seen in the back 1955.

What makes cinema different from a book is clearly depicted in this film. It is the way one represents the world. To draw it, color it, giving it a whole form... which can be touched. This movie transferred into huge canvas on which painter, Ray makes a pattern of human nature. I liked the movie because flow of emotions was so strong despite its boredom, affection for it never ends. The best thing of the movie was that Ray could convey the message through the medium and content both. The artistic creation of a characters and the intensity of emotions in cinematic way was touching. It is a living example of chaos of the struggle between internal and external world of human beings. This film brings to us happy moments as well as moments of grief and pain. Indeed, Rare and exquisite is work of Ray.

Ray's comment on this film: "It is true. For one year I was trying to sell the scenario, to peddle it... since nobody would buy it, I decided to start anyway, because we wanted some footage to prove that we were not incapable of making films. So I got some money against my insurance policies. We started shooting, and the fund ran out very soon. Then I sold some art books, some records and some of my wife's jewelry. Little trickles of money came, and part of the salary I was earning as art director. All we had to spend on was raw stock, hire of a camera and our conveniences, transport and so on... I had nothing more to pawn."

Awards:

President's Gold & Silver Medals, New Delhi, 1955
Best Human Document, Cannes 1956
Diploma Of Merit, Edinbugh, 1956
Vatican Award, Rome, 1956
Golden Carbao, Manila, 1956
Best Film and Direction, San Francisco, 1957
Selznik Golden Laurel, Berlin, 1957
Best Film, Vancouver, 1958
Critics' Award - Best Film, Stratford, (Canada), 1958
Best Foreign Film, New York, 1959
Kinema Jumpo Award: Best Foreign Film, Tokyo 1966
Bodil Award: Best Non-European Film of the Year, Denmark, 1966

Boot Polish

BOOT POLISH(1954) - Boot Polish is an awesome creation about world seen through child eyes.This film ranks as one of the finest thought provoking social dramas asking how we look at ourselves given the limited resources and choices and faced with overwhelming odds. Raj Kapoor's presentation of the humble lifestyle of two children who wish to overcome the obstacles of abject poverty shows the importance of the spirit of endurance and dedication in the face of adversity. We can view deeply in film when children try to face challenges in the world created by greedy souls. I saw this film once when I was a small child of 8 years and I never forgot some scene of it till today. Some scenes are still floating in front of my eyes.

Boot Polish is a pure example of Classical Hindi cinema that made its presence in the world. It is filled with songs and dances, stylized skill in Cinematography, idealized characters, myriad sub-plots, and in end with an inspiring message. Though technically not a musical, the joyous and hypnotic songs on the soundtrack are interwoven into the plot in a way that both enhances the drama and reminds you that it is a “movie” not a boring documentary. It won the 1953/54 Filmfare awards for best picture, best supporting actor, and best cinematography. Director Prakash Arora was nominated for Golden Palm and Baby Naaz won special mention to a child actress at Cannes Film Festival (1954). It was really a moment of proud for any sensible cinema loving Indian.

It is really a movie worth watching in context to any cinema in the world on the condition of children in slum areas. Struggle for survival of both children is depicted wonderfully in movie that makes you disturb again and again as you watch it. The movie tells a human story of two destitute children belonging to a slum area in Bombay. BHOLA an innocent boy of ten and his younger sister BELU aged seven shares an uncertain future when their mom dies in the plague, and their dad is imprisoned. Their aunt, KAMLA CHACHI is woman of low morals, a distant relative who had provided the kids with sleeping space in her shed. They are then left in the uncaring care of cruel aunt, who works as a prostitute in slums of the city. They were well trained in the art of begging by her so that they can earn their living for their needs and do not become load to her. The worse thing a child faces when someone takes their life of childhood and put them in the cruel and greedy world to stand on their own feet. She is cruel, abusive and forces them to take to a life of begging on the local trains, on beaches and crowded areas in Bombay. The constant abuses and beatings from aunt had made the lives of these kids an absolute hell. The age of innocence becomes age of suffering for the children. This is how they grew up in this world of humankind. Now, they want to lead a respectable life. Their only ray of hope was the neighbour, JOHN an old eccentric man with a sharp tongue but a golden heart. He earned his living by polishing shoes in the streets of Bombay. With the help of John they get a shoe-shine kit and start shining shoes on busy sidewalks and railway platforms. Their John's simple words ""Starve, die, but don't beg. Do something with your two hands"" - inspired the kids to stop begging and start the work of polishing boots. The idea of shining shoes fascinated him so much he resolved to become a bootblack. A new sense of dignity and pride comes to the Bhola when he started to do this work of shining shoes or boot polish. Their destinies face more uncertainty when enraged Kamla finds out about their new-found profession. She beats them up and turned out of the house for not begging and polishing boots instead. They temporarily seek shelter with John, but the arrest of John took from their lives the little love and consolation they had. They were left crying and helpless with no one to go to with their troubles.

Things become bad to worse when Bombay enters the monsoon season, when people do not get their shoes shined; Hours passed and they couldn't get any business. The ceaseless rain has spoiled their chances of getting a single customer. They ran from station to station, from street to street only to be disappointed. Belu started crying and wanted Bhola to beg for some money so that she could get something to eat. A great conflict rose in his mind. He had sworn not to beg but his beloved sister was fainting from hunger. His troubles and trails mounted up to a new pitch of pathos till the question ""BEG or DIE"", poses itself once again. That is really a zenith of the internal crisis of a child. One cannot fight with the own conscious when he sees the plight and misery of his owns in front of the hunger. In order bring food to his sister, bhola went away. Then the duo is separated in that situation- with Belu adopted by a rich family. When she asks about Bhola, she is told that he is dead. The question remains is Bhola really dead, if not, what has been his fate? But when the darkness seems to take over everything, a single ray of light seems more encouraging than anything. One day she saw a bhola selling some articles on the street. She runs behind him and then Bhola, Belu and John Chacha met again on the cross roads of life. The trials and troubles of world were left behind; a new world of love and respect awaited them. This was the end of one period and the beginning of another. In their shining eyes and faces, the future of the children of the coming generation was glimpsed."

I find the movie a life-affirming and rich cinematic experience. The love of brother and sister for each other is very real, and their struggle for survival and social respectability is profoundly touching. Filled with positive energy and the "heroic face of innocence” Boot Polish is now more than ever one of my all time favourite classical films. I would recommend this film as a lesson in the triumph of the human spirit when facing the evils of man made adversity. We probably can relate to the two young characters of the film in our day to day lives. Life can be unfair and unjust, and films such as BOOT POLISH show the more dramatic encounters of what we call the human struggle not only to survive but to go forward with esteem in life. Read here a scene from boot polish.

Present of ITBHU-Infrastructre

I have already discussed or just dictated about mighty past of IT-BHU before.

We lack the facilities and infrastructure as compared to IITs and all of us agree on this fact. Just compare the budgets allotted by central government, they are ahead of us ten times. Lack of the advanced facilities in IT-BHU don't discourage students, but the most discouraging thing here is the work culture. People simply do not want to work. The Sarkare Babushai system has acquired a long roots here. Neither they interfere in your work nor they support genuine effort. You stand alone just on your knowledge and skills; Some helping seniors who had been facing same working environment from years are there for guidance. Few teachers are involved in upgrading the institute but most of them just don't have lively interaction with the students.

Flow of information about mischief and local politics spread like velocity of light but someones good work are not heard in campus news. Many people are not even able to digest the praise of others. Faculty crunch is one of the tough things faced by IT-BHU. We are realizing that there is decrease in certain professors of great ability on whose shoulders our institute stands. When you see the spitting of benarasi pan here and there by faculty members, you feel that wow ! This is the result of cracking JEE exams and then one great decision at counseling session.

I am not delivering here my point on negative aspect of infrastructure and faculty members. There are some people working really hard but they are not on the radars due to blockage of information. You will know which teacher is hard and strict, but never know reason of his/her behavior and what one expects from the student. The sense of pride or dignity with the attachment to institute is lacking in our working staff and faculty members. Even if they consider themselves as a part of this institute but they lack vision of quality standard required to make great from good, a modern technical institute.

Just check out the  IIT-B website. It shows why they are so ahead of us.

In addition to all of these curses, making your way through the red tape is worst that you will get from this university by default. Presence of corruption from top to bottom in a central university is a major hindrance in any achievement. Results are delayed and getting even the simplest of things done required lot of running around and signatures at different levels. The result of 1st semester is declared in mid February after completion of exams in mid December. It is not slow valuation of exam copies but a tedious process in preparing final result by our university.

The entire university behaves like arrogant, stagnant and orthodox old king without any knowledge of present. Do not expect any grand future vision. Barely anything is finished with professionalism and in time. Projects are delayed, result are delayed; Here everything runs in past. Counting of problems about infrastructure cannot be stopped here. Money is a little problem but will power to take risk has became major problem in each engineering department. People do not want to take initiative or decision on many matters. These delaying of the decisions has been harming our institute more than anything.

The main point to note is: University is much more stronger legally than us because of mammoth paper work. Only paper work is done on the name of work. In this respect, attachment of IT-BHU to university has done more harm than good. This is the line taken from another blog about IT-BHU only: "The true advantage of a real university lies in the tremendous scope for inter-disciplinary activities." That is not happening here.

First thing first, the decentralization of administration from the university is necessary for development of this institute. To regain the glory of IT-BHU, we are the only hopes...
Rest is on us. (बाक़ी तो हम पर है...)

Past of ITBHU

Our Institute of Technology, like all other Faculties and Departments of the Banaras Hindu University, also owes its existence to the far-sighted vision and relentless efforts of its founder Mahamana Pandit Madan Mohan Malviya. During the days of freedom struggle, three engineering and technological institutions were established by Malviyaji, viz. the Banaras Engineering College (BENCO) in 1919, the College of Mining and Metallurgy (MINMET) in 1923 and the College of Technology (TECHNO). The first-ever degree courses in Mining, Metallurgy, Ceramics and Pharmaceutics in India were pioneered at BHU. After our country became independent, post graduate and doctoral research programmes were also introduced. It is an established history that BENCO, MINMET and TECHNO produced outstanding engineers who manned various industries, academic institutions, R & D Labs and others, thus providing the much needed technological leadership/skills in various sectors of indigenous development.After the establishment of the Indian Institutes of Technology, the three premier engineering institutions of our University viz., BENCO, MINMET and TECHNO were merged to form the Institute of Technology (IT-BHU) to provide a strong and integrated educational base. Thus our Institute came into full fledged existence in 1971.

This is an old story about my institute told several times to us in speeches, essays and various ceremonies  and other fellows. But, I strongly feel that we live in the shadows of the past. We always boast that our institute has given faculty member to several IITs in their establishment time. That was really good time for our institute in the 40's, 50's, 60's and even 70's. Later on IITs have become brand ambassador in technical education outside India and we have to satisfy on back foot with alumni in good position at India only. Our institution has gathered respect among the industries inside India but we have to still establish our brand as a good institute globally. Our alumni association has been gathered by special and worth mentioning alumni. (web link revised in 2009)

Road which we marched on till now was full of glory and we have to make better future in the coming days.

ASTITAVA

समय एक रहस्य है,येह एक ऐसे गुथी है जो मनुस्य सुलझा नही सकता. मनुस्य जीवन भर अपने अस्तित्व के लिए संघर्ष कर्ता है. उसका जनम तो केवल मरने के लिए हुआ है,येह जानते हुए भी वोह सृजन कर्ता हे. ऐसे अस्तित्व का क्या लाभ जब हमे जड और चेतन के बीच का फर्क नही मालुम है. क्या विड्माना है येह जीवन की !!!

Gulzar shows flow of URDU Lang.

Song at Youtube here:

इश्क कि छाओं
पाऊँ के नीचे जन्नत होगी
जिनके सर हो इश्क कि छाओं

चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - २
छैया छैया छैया छैया
चल छैया छैया छैया छैया
चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - २
छैया छैया छैया छैया
चल छैया छैया छैया
सर इश्क कि छाओं चल छैया छैया
सर इश्क कि छाओं चल छैया
पाऊँ जन्नत चले चल छैया छैया
पाऊँ जन्नत चले चल छैया

चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - ४

वोह यार है जो खुशबु कि तरह
जिसकी जुबां उर्दू कि तरह


मेरी शाम रात, मेरी कायनात
वोह यार मेरा सैया सैया
चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - २

चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - २

गुल्पोश कभी इत्राये कहीँ महेके तो नज़र आ जाये कहीँ - २
ताविज़ बनाके पेहें उससे, आयत कि तरह मिल जाये कहीँ - २
गुल्पोश कभी इत्राये कहीँ महेके तो नज़र आ जाये कहीँ
ताविस बनाके पेहें उससे, आयत कि तरह मिल जाये कहीँ


(वोह यार है जो इमान कि तरह)
मेरा नगमा वोही, मेरा कलमा वोही
मेरा नगमा नगमा, मेरा कलमा कलमा
मेरा नगमा नगमा, मेरा कलमा कलमा - ३

यार मिसाले ओस चले,
पाऊँ के टेल फिर्दोस चले
कभी दाल दाल कभी पात पात
मैं हवा पे धून्दूं उसके निशाँ
सर इश्क कि छाओं चल छैया छैया
सर इश्क कि छाओं चल छैया
पाऊँ जन्नत चले चल छैया छैया
पाऊँ जन्नत चले चल छैया

चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - ४

मैं उसके रुप का शैदायी, वोह धुप छाओं सा हर्जायी
वोह शोख का रंग बदलता है, मैं रंग रुप का सौदाई

मैं रंग रुप का सौदाई

जिनके सर हो इश्क कि छाओं, पाऊँ के नीचे जन्नत होगी - २
शाम रात, मेरी कायनात, वोह यार मेरा सैया सैया

चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - ४

सर इश्क कि छाओं चल छैया छैया
सर इश्क कि छाओं चल छैया
पाऊँ जन्नत चले चल छैया छैया
पाऊँ जन्नत चले चल छैया

चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - ४

वोह यार है जो खुशबु कि तरह
वोह जिसकी जुबां उर्दू कि तरह
मेरी शाम रात, मेरी कायनात
वोह यार मेरा सैया सैया
चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - ४

चल छैया छैया छैया छैया - ४

छैया छैया छैया छैया
चल छैया छैया छैया छैया l

Lyrics of Title Song from Bharat Ek Khoj

सृष्टी से पहले सत्य नहीं था,
असत्य भी नहीं
अंतरिक्ष भी नहीं,
आकाश भीं नहीं था
छिपा था क्या कहाँ,
किसने देखा था
उस पल तो अगम,
अटल जल भी कहाँ था
सृष्टी का कौन हैं कर्ता
कर्ता हैं यह वा अकर्ता
ऊंचे आसमान में रहता
सदा अध्यक्ष बना रहता
वोहीं सच मुच में जानता.
या नहीं भी जानता
हैं किसी को नहीं पता
नहीं पता
नहीं है पता, नहीं है पता...........
वोह था हिरान्य गर्भ सृष्टी से पहले विद्यमान
वोही तो सारे भूत जात का स्वामी महान
जो है अस्तित्वमाना धरती आसमान धारण कर
ऐसे किस देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर
जिस के बल पर तेजोमय है अम्बर
पृथ्वी हरी भरी स्थापित स्थिर
स्वर्ग ओर सूरज भी स्थिर
ऐसे किस देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर
गर्भ में अपने अग्नी धारण कर
पैदा कर्व्यपा था जल इधर उधर नीचे ऊपर
जगह चुके वो का एकमेव प्रान बंकर
ऐसे किस देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर
ॐ ! सृष्टी निर्माता स्वर्ग रचायता पूर्वज रख्सा कर
सत्य धर्मं पलक अतुल जल नियामक रक्षा कर
फैली हैं दिशाएं बहु जैसी उसकी सब में सब पर
ऐसी ही देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर
ऐसी ही देवता कि उपासना करे हम अवि देकर....


Lyrics Of The Title Track of Bharat Ek Khoj

Creation Hymn from the RIG VEDA

CREATION HYMN from the RIG VEDA
Translation by V. V. Raman, University of Rochester

Not even nothing existed then
No air yet, nor a heaven.
Who encased and kept it where?
Was water in the darkness there?
Neither deathlessness nor decay
No, nor the rhythm of night and day:
The self-existent, with breath sans air:
That, and that alone was there.
Darkness was in darkness found
Like light-less water all around.
One emerged, with nothing on
It was from heat that this was born.
Into it, Desire, its way did find:
The primordial seed born of mind.
Sages know deep in the heart:
What exists is kin to what does not.
Across the void the cord was thrown,
The place of every thing was known.
Seed-sowers and powers now came by,
Impulse below and force on high.
Who really knows, and who can swear,
How creation came, when or where!
Even gods came after creation's day,
Who really knows, who can truly say
When and how did creation start?
Did He do it? Or did He not?
Only He, up there, knows, maybe;
Or perhaps, not even He.

Baanwra Man

Baanwra Man from Hazaaron Khwahishen Aisi. I really liked that song and got at the Hindi lyrics from a blog of a great guy.

The song is “Baanwra Man” - an amazing composition by Shantanu Moitra. There is a feeling of yearning in the lyrics by Swanand Kirkire. He has himself sung the song as well, and rendition is real soulful. Here are the lyrics:

बाँवरा मन देखने चला एक सपना।
बाँवरा मन देखने चला एक सपना।
बाँवरे से मन की देखो बाँवरी हैं बातें।
बाँवरे से मन की देखो बाँवरी हैं बातें।
बाँवरी सी धड़कने हैं, बाँवरी हैं साँसे।
बाँवरी सी करवटो से, निंदिया तू भागे।
बाँवरे से नयन चाहे,बाँवरे झरोकों से,
बाँवरे नज़ारों को,तकना।
बाँवरा मन देखने चला एक सपना।
बाँवरे से इस जहाँ मे, बाँवरा एक साथ हो।
इस सयानी भीड़ मे, बस हाथों मे तेरा हाथ हो।
बाँवरी सी धुन हो कोई, बाँवरा एक राग हो।
बाँवरे से पैर चाहे,बाँवरे तरानों के,बाँवरे से बोल पे,थिरकना।
बाँवरा मन देखने चला एक सपना।
बाँवरा सा हो अंधेरा, बाँवरी खामोशियाँ।
थरथराती लौ हो मद्धम, बाँवरी मदहोशियाँ।
बाँवरा एक घुंगटा चाहे,हौले-हौले बिन बताए,
बाँवरे से मुखडे से,सरकना।
बाँवरा मन देखने चला एक सपना।

Arrival In Germany

Continuing my journey from last blog post :

I met a person named Ram at Delhi Airport. He works in Kuwait in the petroleum sector. He was an IITB alumnus- 1983 pass out. It was really pleasure to meet him. He told me that he was more interested in music than studies in his younger days. A bit off talk take place and I was informed of a most amazing fact/fiction by him; That his interview of DRDO in 1983 at IIT-B placement was taken by President Kalam who was then Director of DRDO. I was tired and slept in the aeroplane. I have reached Kuwait from Delhi at 9 am( Kuwait timings). Then, we parted without saying goodbye to each other. My next flight was at 9 AM only but it became 1 hour late. Talking about Kuwait airport, I can only say a oasis made in desert from petro-dollars. Its like barren and sandy for miles around but i do not visualize country as a part of Arabian Nights.

Then, I met a German lady [40 years of age]. She was with me from Delhi but we never talked till Kuwait. We talked about India as a common matter of dialogue between two unknown persons. Flying in aeroplane was like dream coming true for me.Watching the marvelous scenario of sky and clouds was like dream . I am not getting proper word till now for describing those moments. Clouds seem to be like a foam spread in the sky. Looking down on the land was like seeing a place through Google earth. I reached Frankfurt after a long journey of 6 hrs. The plane landed at the grand looking Frankfurt Airport. I swear that to make such airport in India will take 20 years minimum.

Suddenly, I felt that I am in Europe. I took my luggage and walked towards Long Distance Railway Station. My train journey begins towards Bayreuth at 3:30 pm Train was late 5 min. I was shocked by alien environment. Just joking; I had taken tickets of ICE, fastest train in Germany. I had to change train for Bayreuth at Nuremberg.

I wanted to write poetry first but words were not coming to me. It was like unspeakable feeling. Then, I write prose on the train. Original Uncut Version is first time revealed here for public.

"This is my first visit to any country abroad India. Germany i.e. The place where i really see what the hard work and honesty means. I am watching the beauty of nature spread all across the country. There is a perfect Harmony between men and nature. I remember a person named Bismarck of Germany. He was called as man of iron and blood. I see the iron and everywhere in the construction, in the buildings almost in infrastructure. Lot have been invested in infrastructure since devastation of his place after world war. I am also moving forward like this train as economics is not my field. I am falling short of words describing the forest and concrete jungles have mingled here in Frankfurt. Mutually bonded by sense of human spirit seems this place. How beautiful a place can be..."

I reached Nuremberg and then to Bayreuth in Bavaria state. Now my journey was nearly finished at 8 pm in the new land (and it was still evening). I was amazed to know the that sun sets at 9 pm in summer season. That was really a new feeling...

Nuovo cinema Paradiso

Nuovo cinema Paradiso(1988)

There's something magical and timeless about the movies. The simple actors transform into stars in a moment.They are like fixed points in a firmament created out of the just imagination; Ageless reminders that despite the fact that our bodies deteriorate during the passage of time, in our minds we are forever young. Images projected across the distance and onto a screen like ghosts from far off memories and whole life seem to summarize and purify into some perfect, elegant essence -- We remember only the beautiful, moving and inspiring while the all other things falls away and is forgotten in the time.

Giuseppe Tornatore's glorification of the movies in CINEMA PARADISO is really a celebration of life and the limitless possibilities for the individual with determination and imagination.Ennio Morricone's unparalleled soundtrack make for exquisite, once-in-a-lifetime film-making. There are really three protagonists in this film; Salvatore, the principle character who's story is told primarily through flashbacks; father figure persona grata, Alfredo, projectionist and Salvatore's mentor; and the theater itself, Cinema Paradiso, that refuge for the weary. A place where dreams, if only for a couple hours, can be found. A place where, laughter, sadness and joy can be shared. Really a Paradise! Salvatore is fatherless and Alfredo childless. The two will form a special bond and remain virtually inseparable until Salvatore is a young man. A bond forged primarily in the projection room of the Cinema Paradiso, and fired by their mutual love for the movies. The years will be marked with tragedy, love won and lost and the realization that perhaps "life isn't like in the movies." When Salvatore finally does leave, making it big as a successful and respected filmmaker, it will take the death of Alfredo to bring him back after an absence of 30 years. A trip back in time that will inflame old wounds, but also provide an opportunity for them to heal, and after the final kiss of CINEMA PARADISO's inspirational last scene, any lover of the movies will find it almost impossible not to give into nostalgia."Cinema Paradiso" is the rarest of rare gems.

Tribute to ITBHU

In the ruins of memory the house breathes

through its mouldy surface,

touched by strangers’ looks …

Time cracks inside the ripened walls.

It tears off with fragile flakes

Swollen with history

the heart of hearts

bestows its place on silence.

INTRO

Our Institute of Technology, like all other Faculties and Departments of the Banaras Hindu University, also owes its existence to the far-sighted vision and relentless efforts of its founder Mahamana Pandit Madan Mohan Malviya. During the days of freedom struggle, three engineering and technological institutions were established by Malviyaji, viz. the Banaras Engineering College (BENCO) in 1919, the College of Mining and Metallurgy (MINMET) in 1923 and the College of Technology (TECHNO). After the establishment of the Indian Institutes of Technology, the three premier engineering institutions of our University viz., BENCO, MINMET and TECHNO were merged to form the Institute of Technology (IT-BHU) to provide a strong and integrated educational base. Thus our Institute came into fullfledged existence in 1971. To preserve its excellence and national character admission procedures through the Joint Entrance Examination ( IITJEE) for undergraduate courses and Graduate Aptitude Test in Engineering (GATE conducted by the IITs & IISc.) for the post-graduate courses are introduced

The Department of Mechanical Engineering came into existence in 1919 under the leadership of Professor Charles A. King, the first Head of the Department and Principal of the erstwhile Banaras Engineering College (BENCO). Over the last eighty years the Department has grown four folds to become the largest department in the Institute of Technology as well as in the Banaras Hindu University.

Time before Internship -2

The saga of the time before internship continues from the previous post --

And the day when I catch train to Delhi was a busy day of my life. I had put everything in hostel common room and transferred computers to Subhash bhaiya home. I was really much in trouble without Subhash bhaiya's help. Vijay was there with me and helping me to complete all papers and formality before going to visa office. I arrived at nick of time before last train to Delhi on that day. Train to Delhi, Shivganga express was full of Biharis and I was in general compartment with them. I was struggling not to fall sleep after a tiring day with all important documents in a bag only. Train reached to Delhi in morning and I was standing alone on the railway platform at Delhi on the morning of 9th may. My brother received me there and we went to his home at North Delhi. Then, I rushed towards to visa center of German embassy in South Delhi. How fool i feel now, that I had not taken appointment before and return from their with appointment of next day.

10\05\2007 was an important date for me. I submitted all the document and got a date for visa interview on 15th may. I have postponed my flight from 15 to 18th now. I have now got strong emotions inside me that I cannot go back empty handed after getting this close. I was really afraid about what sort of questions will be asked in the embassy? But it was all over in 10 min in morning. The glaring sun in New Delhi looks cool to me and I was scheduled to get my visa on 17th evening from vfs only. It was like a dream come true.

But there was a still twist in the story. On the next day a call came from German embassy. It ordered me to come either with my own or parents bank statement. I was a lucky guy to have passbook with me that was lastly updated on march. I again visited to embassy on 17th morning and submitted the bank statement. The lady there was beautiful though not cooperating like first day. It was ok to me. I got my passport with visa stamped on it on 17th evening. My plane was next morning at 6 am Indian timing (bhai logon plane late ho gaya sahi mein indian timing ka prabawh bahut hai).

I have not met my parents since January. My parents came to see off me. I was a lucky man in my family as the first one going out of the country. My sister was doing training at TELCO, Lucknow at that time. She was missing me and I too was missing her. I was surely missing my friends and especially Vijay...

At last, Kuwait airways plane take off....
BYE BYE INDIA:

Time Before Internship-1

Internship in foreign country is really a shocking thing for a guy with 6.27 CGPA till 4th semester and 2 fakkas in 5th semester. Hence, the result awaits. Funny it appears but it is true. I am saying that there are much better candidates than me, not counting GMAT's in our branch.

It was really hard time to think over my internship in January. I have done my previous summer industrial training at the Modinagar Paper Mill. I could not even think about getting any good internship offer. I was first thinking in making my career in the field of Oil sector so want to pursue internship in that only. Later, I dropped that idea and work in the field of composite. Me and Vijay got a project from Prof. V.K. Srivastava after 2 month long exotic run/ interview/ interaction in previous semester. I was lucky and working on my project. Then, I applied many places for internship but fruitless. I met my foreign mentor in a conference in New Delhi but he was not offering money to us. Now, I took a bold decision and asked my mentor Prof. that can i get a training in N.A.L. Bangalore or V.S.S.C. Trivandrum ? He gazed us for a second and replied that he will try from his contacts. But one day there comes a mail to me that my foreign mentor in Germany has ready to pay me and my friend Vijay 300 euro per month for internship. We agreed and try to get this opportunity in our own way.

I have already taken my training seat at S.N.T.I. Jamshedpur and Vijay has taken in Tata Motors Pune. So here comes a hectic schedule of our making of passport. I have applied for our passport on 23 Jan. without knowing if we ever can use it in this lifetime. It is really long tale of us to go to Lucknow, applying for passport and then open our resources so that our passport can be in our hands on time. Then, I really face Indian bureaucracy first time (Vijay is already more experienced in these matters than me). I don't give a damn that these people should be hanged dead or burnt alive for not doing their work at time. I had gone to Lucknow several times before the end of my 6th semester and already has a short attendance due to my participation in conference blended with the habit of rising late in the morning.

Passport of Vijay has arrived on 30th march with a mistake of his date of birth. He don't want to make it correct but me and others insisted that he should do this and I consider it as most blunderous suggestion given by me. Due to delay in the correction of date of birth in his passport, Vijay can't come with me here in Germany and I will regret this whole life and remember some persons behind the scene. My passport has arrived on 28 April not due to Indian bureaucracy mercy but due to pressure of some one. F###ing Bureaucracy.......

Now my exams were over and I was running out of time as my training period extends from 15 may and we were waiting for passport of Vijay. He waited and tried but all in vain. He took a decision that I must go alone. It was so hard for me that my best pal is leaving behind due to those crooked and lazy bureaucrats and some other person also...

Finally, I leave Varanasi to Delhi alone....

एक बूँद सहसा उछली

यायावर में कोई आत्मावसाद नही है। भीतर उमडे हुए करुण भाव को अपने ही पर ढलकर वाह कारुन्य का अप्व्यय नही करेगा...केवल गहरा स्पन्दन्शील अकेलापन, जिसमे संवेदना की अतिरिक्त सजगता है, मन मानो जड़ है । देखना है, सुनना है, घ्रान है, स्पर्श है- सभी कुछ है, किन्तु नही है चिन्तन वहाँ सतह पर आ गया है और भीतर केवल सन्नाटा है।

Enter The Dragon-2

Continuing from previous post: I was dropped by bus at Rajputna hostel of ITBHU. I was thinking about the condition of the hostel but it was looking quite satisfactory. Warden of my hostel was S.H. Hasan (I don't like him from the first day).

Next day was my registration at the college. The days of adventure or freelancing kick start here. I was sent alone by my parents for my registration to S.B. hall where orientation was going on.

My father was told by warden that there so much strictness, no rag can happen. And I was also ready for small rag but seniors with old tricks lay ahead of me like pack of hunters. I was walking alone from Rajputana to S.B. hall and was interrupted five times by the seniors. I was asked name and my native place. I was really scared last time as a senior told me that Mechanical is most bhokali branch and ragging is more in this than any other branch. I was now attending the address by director and sitting by good luck between 2nd yearites. After boring speech was over, the formalities of registration and bank accounts were over soon.

Zaheer Khan sir headed us for a guided tour of our department. I recalled this poem after experiencing the environment of the institute. Institute gives me feel of old and arrogant king walking with pride on shoulders of past without changing with time. Tour was over soon.

My roll no. was 20040603; Room no. 28 Rajputana; And the day in ITBHU had started....

Mirror

O mighty mirror,
Who never do error,
Reveals inside character,
Gives life a new color;

Seeking for the truth around us,
Searching to the boundaries of mind;
Never we dare to look with close view,
To face the truth or image of us in it.

Reflects our soul to us,
Not mirage of our false hopes;
And us becoming victims and accused,
By judging our-self in frame of reality.

Enter The Dragon

Qualifying IIT JEE 2004 was a big event in my life. And this exam revealed certain character out of me. Now, I was going away from home as a teenager to get experience of college life.

I want to start a new phase in my life by undertaking mechanical engineering as my career in ITBHU, Varanasi. I arrived by Shivganga Express from Kanpur.

Story before counseling: Choosing a seat of Mechanical Eng. in ITBHU was my decision that I will remember for the life time. Till then, I consider IT-BHU equivalent to IIT-K in all aspect and do not care that it has not extra 'I' in its name; I was dreaming that no facility will be lagging and working condition will be extremely professional there. I also left Electrical Eng. for the sake of Mechanical Eng. I was fond and pride of this tough call at that time; But dreams died slowly here.

City was not so good looking as seen from the windows of train. I was not hoping huge expectations from the city. We were received by a bunch of seniors at the railway station. They had volunteered for hospitality to have fun. After waiting for 1 hour, a bus arrives and we were pushed inside a bus which never looks good from the first look. It was a fair welcome from the ITBHU;

When I arrived at Lanka (for god sake who had named this place? He must be native of Srilanka or a distant relative of Raavan); In the bus travel, little was said between us freshers but seniors keep blabbing about the HOLY city Varanasi. I now call it 'hole' city as all good things are drained away by stagnation and orthodoxies;

Arrival at the main gate of university was a anxious moment and seeing the person's statue who had built the university was a charming second of my life. I was thinking that he dream a dream to live up with a dream....

Stand by me

When night is dark,

Silence rules the world.

A chill breeze surrounding you

Alone in woods, just stand by me.

When going gets tough,

Feeling constraint in crowded worlds.

Uncomfortable in passing moments and place,

Beneath the open sky, stand by me.

Not always solitude is blessing,

Sometimes haunting as a curse.

Remember cherishing memories of the past,

Just wish a smile and stand by me.

Curbed by sorrows, lost in gloom

Lights of hope fading in hearts;

Just come to me, refresh your soul

Beside my grave, stand by me.

Redemption

Revive,O! mighty man.

Going nowhere ,but to decay.

Look at the lonely moon,

Having dark patches at its heart,

Shining in the gloomy night

Enlightened your soul with its ray.

Living in downtrodden state

Falling unconsciously from heights

Fading your hopes to rise

Walking to narrow lanes of mistrust

Crawling, crumbling by the hands of greed,

Surrounded by its own long shadows.

On the wings of hope, rise like a phoenix

Burn the past in ashes, row against the hatred.

Start a era with the light of hope.

And open your eyes on new dawn.

Illumination

What a web, life becomes !

Me hanging between two worlds,

One pure work of art

Other a junkyard of materials.

Disillusioned by the senses at this time,

Walking on both the paths.

Poundring the whole heart in one,

And sacrificing mind in another.

Unable to hear voice of soul,

Lying on the banks of hopelessness.

No religion, no friends & no love

So lonely in the crowded world.

Wanting to paint new lines,

On the canvas of dull life.

Arise a sun of light and hope,

Wanna be at horizion of brightness,

To find a path chosen by me only,

Far from rush to way of self-contention.

Supressed

Too see a world, born half dead,

Living with suppressed soul,

Not a worth to be called human,

But surrounding us with foul hearts.

No passion for the life,

No hope of the death;

They are everywhere between us,

With world appearing them as hell

Their black eyes give the depth of pain,

Consciousness lies beneath in the chains.

Not having the feel of liberty,

Every moment passing in vain.

Fight to live, live to earn

Just to get a piece of bread.

Truth & beauty are words of fake

Eternally born for the grave

Where is god of enlightenment?

So cruel, taking grudges on these men;

Weak & timid, they have become,

Always like a foot ridden sand

Hope been there in some eyes,

Someday one can hear their heart's voice.

My favourite line in english poetry

"Love of poetry is first sign of spiritual life."- Aurbindo Ghosh.

When Aurbindo ghosh had quoted this sentence, I was not even born in this world. But really consider me as a unborn or dead without poetry. Poetry preserves the decay in the visitations of divinity in me. I am not a poet, but I am incomplete without it. Reading & Enjoying poems is one thing but remembering them for exam was another cold blooded task to me. I read many poems like "Twinkle Twinkle", "Jack and Jill", "Mary had a little lamb", "Baba black ship" etc from childhood but they were just a part of the boring eduction system, not me. They do not enlightened me with the beauty of the words and also I was little to understand them.

In class 2nd, my father taught me a 2 lines of a poem composed by eminent poet Shelly. That was something about west wind and seasons. I was highly impressed by sound of it and just found a taste of English poetry. I read and recite English poetry from my text books which charms me much but do not give satisfaction. In fact some poems just stuck up my lips due to some unknown or divine reason.

Starting from lines of Blake,

Tiger!tiger! burning bright,

In the forests of night.

These words left me with a magical touch of words.

I was much interested not in happy man's shirt but in reading poem alone:

For oft ,when on my couch i lie,

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye,

Which is the bliss of solitude.

I was then romanticized by the Keats who describe the word beauty for me

'Beauty is Truth,Truth Beauty'-that is all

Ye know on earth,and all ye need to know.

When I was understanding both physical and intellectual world in teenage, I read Gray's lines as a optimist as well as pessimist:

Full may a gem of purest rays serene,

The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear;

Full may a rose is born to blush unseen,

And waste its sweetness in the desert air.

I was reading few poets like Tennyson and Wordsworth in high-school but Tennyson just touches my soul and feeling that Wordsworth cannot achieve with Lucy,

The old order changeth yielding place to new

Lest one good custom should corrupt the world

And God fulfils Himself in many ways.

Here comes a phase in my life when I face a world of grown-ups. I was  a bit of childish then but later became addicted to elegies and a constant search of mine identity began. I face ethical identity crisis about myself and material world. Every thing appear to be fallen apart by watching the brute reality of the society, religion and relations. It was like transition period for me. I was becoming humanist and thinking money as root cause of all problem.

The boast of heraldry,the pomp of power,

And all that beauty,all that wealth ever gave,

Await alike the inevitable hour;

The paths of glory lead but to the grave.

This is the Thomas Gray's lines from Churchyard Elegy. That was the era of my wandering here and there in an unknown search. When I feel the problems of society, I found myself expressed in Matthew Arnold-

Living between two worlds,

The one dead,the other powerless to born.

These poems were showing my struggle within myself. I had to choose now between the work of art or work of technology as my career. I chooses technology as my career and poet inside me died out gradually. P.B. Shelly emerged as my favourite poet in this hour of darkness:

Alas! I have nor hope nor health,
Nor peace within nor calm around;
Nor that content, surpassing wealth,
The sage in meditation found,
And walk'd with inward glory crown'd;
Nor fame, nor power, nor love, nor leisure.
Others I see whom these surround—

Smiling they live, and call life pleasure:
To me that cup has been dealt in another measure!

I was devoid of academics or anything serious in life while doing graduation. One day, I found a rip page from poetry book in home and there was revival of poet inside me. It was like redemption,

Oh, lift me as a wave,a leaf,a cloud !

I fall upon the thorns of life ! I bleed !

And in the same poem the following stanza,

Drive my dead thoughts over the universe,
Like wither'd leaves, to quicken a new birth;
And, by the incantation of this verse,
Scatter, as from an unextinguish'd hearth
Ashes and sparks, my words among mankind!
Be through my lips to unawaken'd earth
The trumpet of a prophecy! O Wind,
If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?

Life comes in full circle with this discovery of 'west wind' poem. The last line of poem now inspires me and became mantra of my life. A new dawn of hope begins for me and metamorphosis of mine is complete. But I have still faith in the words of Goldsmith that once attracted me,

Ill fares the land to hasting ills a prey

Where wealth accumulates and men decay!

I am now in 3rd year of graduation and enjoys reading poetry. It has become now inseparable part of me. I can now proclaim that development in the character of man with the age is also affected by type of poetry an individual read.