About a Parasite

Warning: Don't Read this post, its highly pessimistic.

This is a confession and plight of mine mind.I was anxious and secluded from past 24 hours. No one was around me hence wrote all this crap (for you).

In the pursuit of discovering world, I got habit of reading books, blogs, wikipedia and news. Further, I had started to express my feelings in the blog. As the blog grows with the time, the writing became less reflectional but more aspirational for fame. There was veiled violence of sarcasm and hunger to capture knowledge in each words. Lot of information was captured but only few was transformed into knowledge.The wisdom gained was minimal. Most of the knowledge was lost in witty lines created for consumption of the readers who came at my blog with pre occupied minds for being amused and entertained.

I was also rolling in this world wide web for the search of new data, metaphors and being provoked. The sense of wonder, curiosity and amazement in others work was diminishing with time in the comments like 'nice blog', 'keep writing' and 'good work'. I was not able to involve into analytical reasoning or beauty appreciation for words & images thoroughly. In the rush to gather more and more as fast as possible, some vital part of me was left behind. I am dying slowly.

I had stolen, adapted, cheated ,twisted, innovated and compiled the words (read: lines & paragraph) for the sake of giving tadkaa (metaphorical flavour) in my posts. I have manipulated thoughts and emotions of mine into words to present theme in article form for others. I am working as parasite in this literal world. I gather knowledge about a person, his works or any topic by reading. Mostly I go through all previous post of the archives and incorporate them into mine views. Now, I argues and boast about my skills with others. The flame of writing is currently gone now and had already started Vichaar Shoonya series. Lack of originality is slowly eating me from inside. It feels like a guilt and cheating to the readers.

I am a extremist person with the addiction of hobbies from childhood. Comics, Cricket, Movies, Orkut and now blog shows my addiction pattern with age. I am the greatest escapist from mainstream lifestyle. Running from academics, relations and job; always unsatisfied and day dreaming. I have only pleasure of being content with the life but the temptation to enjoy immoral always sunk me in the long run. I resist the contradiction of my words and actions in the life but have committed plenty of sins in the heart many times. That is called Hypocrisy.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."--Oscar Wilde.

It haunts me like hound in my dreams and in thoughts but I fail miserably in putting something new and original. I just console myself to speak a message effectively. I am now pushing others to write and express their thoughts by creating blogs. Mediocrity inspires greatness. I am only creating that threshold level of mediocre writing.

The call of simplicity is completely absent now from my life now. I am swinging between extreme ends of happiness and sadism in my life. There is so much loneliness in my life that I will become mad now. I am also so much selfish and careless that I just can't attach to anyone now.The narcissism and fear of losing beloved ones to death is taking toll over my soul day by day.

तुम नहीं, ग़म नहीं, शराब नहीं, ऐसी तन्हाई का जवाब नहीं.

I have got now few grass root level knowledge of my motherland & world and disparities shown by the humans for other fellow humans. It has given me so much pain that I am unable to endure it. I cannot now campaign for humanity and peace. Permanent Anubhuti of calmness is absent from my life.The eternal recurrence of cyclic sufferings and pleasures seems to be never ending. My life is waste like anything much lower level than crawling insect in sewer lines.

Long back ago, I have read somewhere: "The wise want love and those who love want wisdom." --Marry Shelley.

I have none of both.
I am feeling like rat running in a circular trap.
I am fed with myself and this world.
I need a change.
I want to in love with someone ....

1989 --- 20 Years Back

The year 1989 brought a revolution without a revolution. The rise of leftist and democracy in Latin America against the history of dictators and MNC's exploitation was getting started. Dissident in politics about Kashmir comes in main news after 1989 and the old wounds were turned green by proxy war started by a bitter neighbour. There was a whole generation that was not moving away and a generation that hasn't necessarily moved in the main stream all over the world.

History--
The fight of moulding history by hardliners in Communist, Islamist and ultra nationalist to make themselves either victim or victor of oppressive regime is the peak point of academic debates in post 2nd world war era. The function of monuments or massive representation of leaders is to offer a stylized version, or in the worst case a mythologized version of history. History when contradicts the memory of living, then nation or community is on the way of self destruction. History should be unbiased interpretation of past rather than revolving around great figures as a sign of a certain respect for their turbulent lives. By omitting a critical and honest discussion of past and by glorifying and romanticizing history, the generations are deprived of learning about the forces and dynamics that shape culture, society and nations.

Racism---
The effects of the internal unrest and international condemnation led to dramatic changes beginning in 1989 in SA. And in few years apartheid ended in South Africa. I slightly differ from funda of international pressure of human right groups for ending years of racial discrimination. A short narration from Deepa Mehata would be enough to clear my stand --- It was just amazing how the colour of one’s skin decides one’s future. What struck me about the story was how racism is rooted in economics. I went to Johannesburg during the Apartheid days, around 1975. There was two lines, one for the Whites, one for the rest - the Indians, the Chinese, the Arabs, all non-Whites. Then I went there two years later, when there was a huge oil boom in the Middle East. And I suddenly see all others were still in the Coloured Line, but the Arabs were in the White Line. So, racism is all about money. Suddenly in one year, the Arabs became White! If the perception about India is changing today, it is because of its economic situation. It’s not that they have suddenly found a long lost love for us. [3]

Communism---
It was marked by the fall of Soviet Union or epitome of Communism into several pieces. The fight against communism back then revealed the belief in the meaning of human freedom. The violet revolution is eastern Europe was breakthrough in the era of oppressive regime of Communist USSR. Tiananmen square massacre and Fall of Berlin Wall was the core of all change that shake communism history round the world.

Tiananmen would not have happened without the rift between Zhao Ziyang and the hardliners, and the Berlin Wall would not have fallen without Gorbachev shaking up the Soviet regime. After 20 of change, the fundamentals remain the same. In a one-party system, a small crack at the top can open up the chasm at the bottom. Behind the façade of self-confidence, harmony and stability, the ghost of 1989 still haunts a closed regime of China and Russia that was hoping to erase and transcend it. [1]
Economy---
A era of changed has gone from past 20 years. The political awakening and fight for human rights has reduced for the betterment of trade and living standards. But this freedom from communism brought with it paradoxes of unchecked capitalism. The rise of middle class has changed the equation in the favour of India and China. Unequal distribution of Economic Freedom is at the basis of India & China's uneven development. The reason is simple, the areas in which the middle and upper classes make their living have seen the highest degree of liberalisation, while the areas in which the poor earn their livelihood have seen the fewest reforms. [2] The huge chunk of industrial production of west runs on oil and cheap labour. While Saudi provided oil, china provided exploitable labor class for the rise of US regime in the post cold war era.

Jehad---
Rise of Islamist was marked from 1972 oil well exploration on Saudi land by American Companies. Investment of petro dollars into Wahabi Islam & jehadi group is also cause of spread of terrorism in South Asia. From then, The identification with Islam have became in such an ethical orientation flow pattern, which is largely about the theological concepts haram - the Forbidden - and halal - the Permitted - structured. The defeat of Soviet in poppy land Afghanistan was the mark of rise of Talibs gathered around by hardliner Muslims. The mistake of America in not rebuilding Afghanistan & leaving behind arms in the hands of jehadis is now paying them after 20 years.

Right Now---
It is everybody's business to ensure that no one is deprived of their right to say what they wish, even if it is deemed by some to be offensive. If we want the pleasures of pluralism and diversity, we have to accept the pain of being offended by extro and intro inspection. That is the level of tolerance should be brought in our diverse and democratic society in future. Now the slump of US economy in global recession and militant Islam uprising is providing a new base for a big change.

The rise of emerging markets and the relative decline of developed countries indicate the reorientation of global economic order. G-7 may found its counter in BRIC now. There are also concerns, the critical one being to what extent this economic power will manifest itself as political power—a process that history suggests is inevitable.

The stability of nuke armed Pakistan will now determine the future of world politics. The axis of attention has shifted from east Europe to Pakistan now. Something that rest of world is fighting against extremist Muslims, i.e. to bring reforms and renaissance in their culture in the light of changing times. 20 years from 1989, again we are on the verge of adapting revolutionary change in our economic and political system. We can only predict what lies in womb of future.

Kanpur Coaching Mandi

For previous article on Kanpur coaching mandi , go through this label of Kanpur Series.

Hot News:IIT Entrance Examination (JEE) of the seven teachers together to prepare a joint platform sigma - IIT JEE is made. Students will get a place to preparing for the three subjects without straying around and meet all the facilities . In addition, due to the joint will reduce the fees too. Sigma of the joint forum of the physics teacher Anish Srivastava and Raj Kushwaha, Ashish Bisnoi and Anurag Bisnoi of mathematics and chemistry of Pankaj Agarwal, Nirmal Singh and Sanjay Chauhan's. Small - small batch (one hundred to two hundred) in the three subjects under the same roof will get a chance to prepare for. Three different subjects to students before a total of 51,300 rupees to pay the fees now total 45,000 fee will be. Sigma's head office 117 / N / 581 Raniganj (Kakadev) will be.

Old Time:Even after paying Rs 8,000 for each of the three different JEE subjects, most of the time we have to struggle for getting a sitting place in the class. The strength of my class was 900. It was a fact that students wait for about two hours before the classes begin so as to get a proper sitting place. There was no sensible limit to the number of students in a class.I hope this decision if implemented will make sense to avoid overcrowding of time passing jantaa.

Teachers into brand names!
Not only in Kanpur, everywhere Coaching institutes making boisterous claims about the performance of their students in competitive examinations and promising moon to future aspirants has become a common trend after the declaration of results. There is no description of ratio of successful to failed student.Apparently, it’s no longer word of mouth that establishes a teacher’s reputation among students, as it used to be a few years ago; it’s mass advertising that these institutes are resorting to now.Strange as it may sound, but it’s not uncommon any more to come across huge hoarding that advertise a coaching institute christened after the teacher’s name. ‘Maths to Joshi Sir se hi padenge!’, it says. Joshi Sir has seemingly worked out the formula to roping in more and more students to his coaching in Lucknow.Also big names like FIITJEE, Brilliant Tutorials will enroll successful candidate name in their list if you have just hand shake with them or given their all India test once.

House to Hostel:Lot of students who cannot afford to study in kota come here from other cities.The large number of students from other cities are queuing up to enrol in one or the other coaching institute at Kakadeo. Varanasi, Gorakhpur, Banda, Unnao, Allahabad and Fatehpur are major cities contributing to warehouse of Kanpur coaching mandi. House to hostel metamorphosis is a phenomena that has taken Kanpur by storm. The trend has people making some smart business moves by either vacating their homes or squeezing themselves into one room so as to convert their homes into hostels for the out station students. Kakadeo, Geeta Nagar, Sharda Nagar,Naveen Nagar and Neer Kjheer Chauraha have been transformed from residentail area into PGs and hostels for students.

Brokers: (Dalle in kanpuriya tounge)
The brokers are spread in coaching mandi like swine flu in Mexico. From photocopy shop to Barber shop, they are waiting for their next hunt.The brokers in the area are also become active allocating hostel and mess for students.Some of them are employed by coaching owners to guide student to the right coaching centers for a fixed share in profit. They are leaving no stone unturned to attract the guardians of out station students with the promise of providing a rented accommodation at most economical rates. Although, few brokers (read: small time neta) compel the coaching institute owners to admit students at a lower fee. In return they take a fixed amount as commission from the students. The coaching institute owners have become more alert after the killing of Rohit Juneja few year back. The murder case is unsolved till this time. The incident had created panic among coaching fraternity and students at that time. Few local hooligans also threatened owners of coaching centre to pay a ransom for elections or face consequences. With minimal investment and a little bit of discomfort, Kanpurites today are going all out to cash in on the city's academic boom.

Comparison of Kanpur to Kota:
Students are majorly confused over choice of Kota and Kanpur for their study.

Major points in Favour of Kanpur:

It is cheap in comparison to Kota and those who don't have enough resources can live easily here and can focus on study.Fellow students are friendly and will share the notes very easily with mutual discussion about any concept is much easier here. But the JEE syllabus is never completed on time in Kanpur or finished in hurry, leaving very less time to revise the course for students.

Major points in favor of Kota are these: (cited from this weblink)

1. class size/strength: Class size in kota ranges from 60 to a maximum of 100 students. But when it comes to kanpur , the class size is funny , nonsense and absolutely violates the principle of classroom teaching. You won’t believe the leading coachings in Kanpur have a strength of 1000 and more students per batch. Tell me how how could one study in such a mess? How could teacher and student can interact in such a place. Though it is a good example of money making on the expense of students career. Anyways i hope you are not going to do such a blunder atleast after reading this topic and believe me its all true if you don’t believe you can ask any student who have studied there.

2. quality of students: As Kota is visited by students from all around the country and hence the quality of students coming here is very good. By quality I mean the intelligence level of students . This doesn’t mean that Kanpur is not having such students .It does but the amount such students is very low when compared with that of Kota.

3.environment: Environment plays a very mportant role in each and every part of life , so it does for preparation of IIT-JEE , AIEEE or any other exam. So the environment in Kota is completely dedicated to studies and nothing else. But afterall it depends on the student who is preparing for IIT_JEE or AIEEE. The environment can just give up a boost and can help him motivated towards studies. Anyways environment in Kota for IIT_JEE or AIEEE is excellent, it definitely helps students. The environment is very peaceful and the people there are also peaceful .Its hard to find people there fighting or making disturbances in the society.

Bhojpuri Comfortably Numb

Photu used with permission. And the protagonist was really numb at that time. I hope he won't mind it.

*This is a photo of my friend, not me;
From one of the Stanza of English version:

When I was a child I had a fever

My hands felt just like two balloons.

Now I've got that feeling once again

I can't explain you would not understand

This is not how I am.

I have become comfortably numb.

And now, the rough Bhojpuri translation in English script:

Jab hum tha ek bachwa, tab humko hua bukhar

hamaar haath gaye phool, jaise ki du bailoon.

ab humko hua e ehsaas ek baar aur, (par karo gaur)

hum samjha nahi sakte, aap nahi na samjhiyega

hum waise nahi hain jaise abhi hain.

ab ban gaye hain hum, aaramtalbi aur sunn.

Poem is on my state at the college days where I have become epitome of lethargy and anti-bathist. Only watching movies , bunking classes and playing AOE. I am trying to get again that feeling in the corporate world but all attempts are vain till now. This translation is dedicated to all Indian Floydians from my side. Original Material yahan se uthaya aur sanshodhit kiya hai.

Vichaar Shoonya -3

Nothing personal and original from my side. Weblinks of adapted material will be given in few days. Enjoy this compiled series.

1-Beauty is a mood of your mind that is experienced if you care to notice. Appreciate the difference because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Are you a beautiful mind? Do you seek beauty?

2-India, democracy has not allowed the rule of the majority. issue after issue, state after state is that powerful minorities landed interests have been able to capture the political system and extract government benefits for themselves. Most people, I suspect, just want to get on with life, raising their families, doing their work, enjoying some good times between the cradle and the grave.

3- Guru, is one of the most important works of Indian cinema to emerge post economic liberalization that gives Indian entrepreneurs their due representation. In a resounding voice it proclaims a paradigm shift in the middle class morality that has made being money-minded and profit-oriented acceptable today. A well deserved farewell to left-leaning portrayal of industry and capitalism. A salute to the proletarian capitalist.

4.In Indian films the alienation of the rural poor from the urban way of life has become cliched. What we require is some kind of synthesis of the two with our past and heritage. They are, I feel working with a totally Western idiom (cinema). Using the same techniques and the same chemistry, can we evolve a new form, a new sensibility? Dance song is part of our folk culture. We blame that our society is not conductive to promote creative films. People and society were just as bad in other times also. The genuine creative people make a way around to make their point and entertain the society as well. Either in cinema or any other field, the great ones always face a hostile social order. Still they don't get in general populace and make safe and ordinary creation.

5-Let me become little autobiographic. I want to reach such stage where remains no hard feelings for anyone .Wanna be writer as Karl Marx. Marx early formative years through school were full of influence by Immanuel Kant and Voltaire. They were some of his favorite authors; a characteristic blend of German profundity and French subversive wit. No nation has produced better essayists than France, none has produced better composers than the Germans, better painters than the Italians, nor better novelists than the Russians. And the English? The English do poetry.