Kanpur Coaching Gurus

Memories of coaching days at Kanpur are inseparable from me. I have done a separate post on Kanpur coaching mandi only. The most remembered image of my coaching days was the advertisement of Ankush Bhatia by Pran classes and it was pasted over each wall of Kanpur. His photo was spread at distant corners of the city showing All India Rank 51. Never seen any local marketing campaign like this. Sometimes, I recall the rush of students from one coaching center to another for seat capture, xerox copying of assignments, and 'out-of-course' study material. The JEE course was never completed on time everywhere in the Kanpur coaching mandi. At the end time of March, the mad rush for completing the course began with various test series taking place simultaneously. I could not forget that pressure till now. I will never forgive Anish, Pankaj, and Vishnoi sir for combining their individual treats into 1 party for JEE-qualified students. For information on pre-2000 AD days of coaching mandi, check this link. Writing a few lines about them in the blog is mandatory for me. It is a rough recollection of data, just written casually. 

Physics: 1-Ajay Narkar sir is a crazy personality and self-made figure. He holds the record of slapping up to 1200 students and teaching 16 hours a day. He lectures students like God and gives cusses to them like the devil. He is obsessed with self-praising and mechanics. He has made 'Concept of Physics by HC Verma' famous in the coaching mandi. According to him, you can't play Holi or go to a movie because playing Holi or shopping, or watching the cinema for 2 hours will stop you from getting into IIT. On the other hand, listening to his autobiography (although inspiring) for 5 hrs is a heck of a time utility. His famous words:---" hum hum hain,baki pani kam hain; baangduon assignment pura hona chaiye ; bhailogo kya bolte ho." 2-Anish Srivastava sir is famous for his orange shirt and black trousers combination. We have never seen him in any other dress. It was lovely to see Anish sir making a diagram precisely with various colored chalks. The timespan of his class was only 2 hours, the least by any physics teacher in that area. Paanch (Coca-Cola ad by Aamir Khan) was used to shout by the coaching junta for every arbitrary occasion in the classroom. His famous words on entering the class---write down the heading and take out the booklet !! 

Maths: 1-Ashish Vishnoi Sir take entry in class and exclaimed daily "pani lana, ac on kar do, marker dena.................". Acute Dialogues for students---" kripya grameen bhai idhar dhyan de ;abe chor ho yar tum log,apne gaon ki bus pakad lo aur katlo yaha se; kisi ko zada hero banne ki zaroorat nahi hai,beta latak jaaoge; jyada topchee na bano poori class milke bhi mera kuch nahi ukhar paoge; are yaar abhi saal bhar baad yanhi rikshaw chalate najar aaoge; are yaar ab regular valon ki tarah har question mat pucho" ...last but most famous "aap log totaal suar hain". 2-Anurag Vishnoi sir is brother of Ashish sir. He usually teach for extra class and test sheet discussion. His famous phrases: "Aray bhai aap log to itne intelligent ho ki meri aankhen bhar aayi ; jo log baat kar rahe hain unke liye mujhe showroom mein ek chamchamata hua rikshaw dikh raha hai; yaar kabhi bhi aapke khandan me kabhi bhi koi jee me select nahi hoga. 

Chemistry: 1-Nirmal Singh Sir, my favorite in all. The short and shiny T-shirts of Nirmal sir made him the most fashionable figure. Pink, Cream and Green color shine in the whole class. He seldom got angry but his comments were absolute to the point. He teases girls with his mild-mannered comments that make us laugh hard on the floor. How can one forget Nirmal sir ke wo fundoo association of ideas like Adla Badli (Ajnabee) or electron migration priority decision by using the example of Biwi no. 1. Chaudi kamar was used for ligands, the especially mugging trick for carbohydrate chapter "rekha aur amitab mile to lage thumka". 2-Pankaj Agrawal sir has got a reputation for having absolute knowledge of physical chemistry. But his repo was built on his misery than his lifestyle. He is more miser than 10 Uncle Scrooge standing together over a pile of money. We have known about his tussle with the income tax department every year. His typical posture was to take the assignment sheet in one hand and itch his head with another hand. Particular was the only word that was repeated at least 20 times per class. And asking everyone with a smile that shows frontline teeth 'Agar kar sakte ho to jee ke baare mein sochna warna bhool jao'. Sombody on orkut created a great abbrevation for him: P--Puchhunga, A--aata hai?, N--nahin aata!!, K--karo, A--aayega, J--JEE mein. Absolutely PANKAJ. Pankaj sir usually quote: "Photo nahi lagegi iit paper me. padna padega" & "ab main kuchh jano ko particular class se bahar karne wala hoon ab aap sambhal jayein." 3-Sanjay Chauhan famous for his cheap dialoges and command in organic chemistry. "ladkiyoon, pad lo... nahi padogi.. to chaati per baith kar padaunga... aur phir bhi nahi pada.. to chaati per kudoonga... taki dard ho.. shayad tab padogi...

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I have not mentioned here O.P. Juneja, Sanjeev Rathore, Mahesh Singh Chauhan, Raj Kushwaha, Vivek, and G.D. Verma here. Also worth mentioning here is Cobra Sir for his popular pseudo name. But to end this article a quote from Kanpur coaching mandi come as "latest but most rocking "--36 hazar ka chadawa chada diya 3 bagvano ko,ab to selection pakka samaj gaye hain...............

Kanpur Coaching Days

Within a radius of one kilometer, Kakadeo is the hub of the coaching mandi for JEE, MBA, Medical, etc having at least 20-30 coaching institutes. The classes are run by individuals teaching a single subject with a completely one-man show. Few people object to the name 'mandi' but it's like a fish market only. Coaching Mandi is the perfect name for it because the teachers are earning the butter not bread for them. When you go for admissions, people try to admit you to their institute with false advertisements and lucrative trial offers. It's altogether a mandi in which every teacher just wants students' admission, not in JEE, but in their institute. It was an urban legend that girls were used to seduce boys for admission in a few coaching centers. I and my friends tried in vain to find such lethal hunting beauties. My encounter with coaching mandi begins with JEE preparation.

Nalanda Hotel, Pamela Restaurant, Agra sweet house were my favorite places there. For others, love chaat of Hanuman chaat near Agarwal's (chemistry coaching) & search friends shop for cards. It was fun for coaching students to sit on the bike and have malai wali chai in winter after coaching classes. But to stalk beautiful girls with few appreciating words was favorite time pass of each boy. Now in Kakadev CCD's coffee, mandal ke momos or rock'n'roll 's patties are more popular. The lover point from JK temple has now changed to Rave Kakadeo. Time changes everything and makes you feel nostalgic about the past.

With my friends, I was engaged in various gossip ranging from academic degrees of coaching teachers to the ill-treatment of regular batch students by teachers. Fiercely debated discussion about the history of the expulsion of Ajay sir from IITK, the cheating scandal of Vishnoi sir at ITBHU, and the bank balance of Pankaj sir. I was in the league of those who wrath on Pankaj sir for giving no credit to Nirmal sir despite his sincere efforts. One of my best friends was dead sure that Pamela's restaurant was named after Pamela Anderson (most decent photo) ( why my friend likes her is self-explanatory). I always pray that 'Barb Wire' or 'Baywatch' star one day makes her presence in this part of the world for sightseeing.

Scenario Inside Classroom:

Getting Inside and capturing seats in the coaching centers was like a mission impossible. The toughest arena of the Kakadev region was chemistry classes by Pankaj Agrawal. There was always a small queue of 600 students arranged before class from the stairs to a small room on the first floor. We may have to wait for about 20 minutes before we enter the class. There was literally no place to stand & people all pushing over you from all sides. People at the back would push the whole line forward and people in front would push it backwards. The whole line starts oscillating in simple harmonic motion. If by the great grace of god, you are captured in the middle, then pray hard that you remain OK to attend the class. Even one of the most intense physical exercises would not give better health than the exercise you get in this short span of 20 minutes. If not blood then the sweat on clothes was enough signature of our struggle in the class. The 'staff' control rather tries to control the crowd with the additional responsibility of checking the I-card & checking unauthorized intruders.

Now the grand entry begins, a much enthusiastic crowd of film premier would be ashamed of the rush. The young Janta runs like hell, jumping over and under the railings, not caring for their life. Such scenes are rare to watch when students want to sit in front seats just to attend class. Somehow each time we crawl into the classes. Then, the saga of reserving seats for friends begins which can take a bloody end between young guns. The most difficult job for boys was to get to the next bench of the girl's row. Great battles have been fought for such issues between student gangs. It's no exaggeration but beauty Sensex declines gradually from the 12th batch to the regular batch and least in the ranker batch. It was amazing for us to stand on the edge of the desk and lean at angles extending up to 10 degrees for synchronizing his facial expression with his voice! What amazing balance we used to have to breathe and study in the crowded coaching rooms. The assignment sheets were full of questions that were distributed and mostly put in our register as a symbol of archaeological preservation. I have seen that even the toughest question of the sheet was done by some ingenious bastard. You get to know about amazing alien minds that few humans in your class only, possess. The thorough discussion with different styles by each teacher will be discussed in the coming post.

Till 2003, the classroom was non-AC. It was very hard to listen and involve in class after 2 hours. Then after the shout of 'bas bas' ,the important questions for JEE began to be discussed by teachers in all coaching centers at last moments. And, finally, the class was over after 3 hours. It was like more people running to the gate someway as they had entered, enthusiastically. They run as if they had been tortured in prisons for centuries...
I retreat slowly and still remember me gazing image of Celina Jaitley on Janasheen poster at Devaki Theater.....Uff!!! Nostalgia revisited and more will be coming... For information of readers, On Orkut, you could even find fans of Shuklain, the lady who manages the vehicle stand of Pankaj sir.
PS: Thanks to Orkut and blogs for a few minor data. Any good photos of the coaching mandi, please send me ASAP.

Do the Right Thing

I had taken a decision long ago to give 10% of my income to charitable cause. Yesterday, I fulfilled my oath and donated 10% of my first month salary to Ramakrishna Math. In this moment, I wanted to thanks my parents who do not burden me with any financial liability. I do not have very huge salary but I am much content with great friends, family and moderate income. I believe that there is something called as social responsibility. If I couldn't remain happy with 90% of my income, then spending full income on my pleasures is a lost cause. I have made only monetary contribution to the institution. The grass root involvement of mine with the underprivileged is far away dream. I hope that someday I can help in making a deprived child into good & responsible person. I propose all dear youth readers to at least get involved in some good social activity.

Post Slumdog

"Life is a bitch."-An Underdog

Aaj ka Bharat

श्वानों को मिलता दूध वस्त्र, भूखे बालक अकुलाते हैं
माँ की हड्डी से चिपक ठिठुर जाडों में रात बिताते हैं
युवती के लज्जा वसन बेच, जब व्याज चुकाये जाते हैं
मालिक जब तेल-फुलेलो पर, पानी सा द्रव्य बहाते हैं
पापी महलों का अहंकार, देता तुझको तब आमंत्रण..
Writer- Dinkar
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