Sparsh

I am turning 40 in the next few months. So much has been lost in the debris of time, and yet inscribed in the memories.  It is a travesty that we remember milestones yet forget the simpler times of childhood. I am suddenly experiencing a mixture of melancholy and nostalgia for the old DD serials, movies, and cartoons.  R ooted in memory, these shows have evoked in me the warmth of simpler times. I have renewed appreciation for the value of what was once overlooked or forgotten. For adults who fondly remember the golden age of Doordarshan (DD) in the 1990s, the program lineup was a delightful mix of intellect, comedy, and adventure.   I was  seeing the world through the eyes of a child alive to its sensations, yet protected from reality. I will mention a few DD programs forgotten or less remembered among people nowadays.    One such gem was Gucchhe , which, contrary to popular belief, wasn't an original Indian drama but rather the Hindi-dubbed vers...

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.” - George Orwell I had a background of literate and disciplined family, but there was slow development of character in the life who doesn't have any rigid sense of social morality. I tried hard to develop my own sense of just and liberal values. If I say that is easy, that will be gross lie. Putting that in the words of John Maynard Keynes’ belief that the difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping old ones. But solitude always gave me an opportunity to re-define myself as a person and unlearn whatever I have learnt all these years as a bachelor. This was achieved only through lot of writings on the blog. I have survived engineering and wandered into strange paths to tell the tale of traveler. These records of 600 Posts are record of this ...

"Sometimes one has to be a fool in the beginning, to become wise in the end." - Irving Stone, Lust for Life It is human nature to underrate the present and grossly overrate the past. Life is full of these strange vignettes. So it’s easy to see why what others would call strange is simply pure normality to a person. I had gone through many small experiences that has changed me in a way that I could never go back to the carefree person I once was. I feel neither responsible, nor easy-going towards anything. A habit of seriousness coiled the soul. Amid this habit of pessimistic outlook towards life, I kept blog as a a diary in order to express inner feelings. Writing is one of my favorite hobby that I pursued with passion to understand life in little details. I was in an eternal search for an emotional anchor from long time. Slowly an inner frustration bloomed as mental blockage that can't be put in the word. I stopped writing and became infrequent here. When we are in ...

India is passing through the transformative period when we are shifting slowly from being a culture "based on a largely diverse but shared core of faith, tradition and authority" to one in which "everything under sun, no matter how fundamental or deeply rooted in values, is under the scanner of reason" . We need role models more than ever in this changing phase of economy and society. We have either western educated elites, who always remain resentful for anything traditional or nationalists who see every change as an act of corruption to pious way of Indian tradition. We need examples of person who are not involved in corruption, conspicuous consumption and oppression of their unlettered citizens. They must be good role models in the eyes of their less educated and younger compatriots. What I ask may sound unrealistic perfection of the characters, but we can lookfor. Role modelling is important for a person. I was once destined for bigger and better things thr...

Unbiased Analysis always reveal that a ‘cherished tradition’ is neither cherished, nor a tradition; its a easy and popular myth propagated by powerful ones. Once we create movements sought to challenge the power not just of social practices eventually they will challenge political order too. There is term used ‘ Heckler’s Veto ” that has been seen more in democracy mode of governance. Essentially it means that the state refuses to allow freedom of expression out of fear of someone else’s reaction. That is the one lethal aspect that holds moral progress of the whole nation. People judge individuals by whether they comfort you or unsettle mentally and emotionally. So, it is always easy to look for the coziness and intimacy that is inherited in the established tradition, even it is wrong one. As the total rejection of old will lead them into unknown emotional landscape with no peers around them. Only Diversity and open communication can challenge our morals based on culture. Yes, the ...

August 21, 2013 is Blue Moon. The phrase 'Once in a blue moon' has come to mean something that incurs very infrequently. So is my birthday that happens only once in a year. Life is looking okay for now. Off the job, well, not quite smooth. I have seen now 28 years of life of details. The perennial question from childhood in my mind is - Is it merely an accident of birth that led to one person having huge wealth and other condemned to poverty ? The search for the answer of this question has made me an idealist in this practical world. To argue with one's own kin and friends for the ideal of fairness is difficult. One has to drop imposed morality and biased faith for one's own. I try to explore the issues of social hierarchy, religion, loyalty, corruption, sexuality, war, crime, and punishment by becoming morally ambiguous. I am ready to inherited cultural values if they are not respecting human rights. Even I have been rubbing with the comforts, the ragged edges of r...

Never forget where you came from that is what I learn all these years. It may not define you but gives a reference point to start. All of us must take an emotional journey to discover the roots, the cultural identity and constantly looking our own future course of action. I try much to write frankly, clearly and not with bitter heart. I am rooted in my local culture but I am not closed. I am aiming to be liberal while trying not be indifferent and disrespectful of the conservative surroundings. I'm not exactly as I appear as a stereotype. There is a warm loveable person inside. Beneath my cold exterior, once you break the ice, you can find a warm heart waiting for the embracement for new ideas. Cultural entities and characteristics do require microfoundations. My grandfather was most liberal and chilled out person in my whole family. I learnt love of Nature, Urdu Couplets and Hindi Literature from my father. The zeal to read newspaper, fiction and nonfiction literature is a trai...

I live, I go daily through tides of emotions, I express, I learn, I figure out where I went wrong. That's what living is for me. A realm of emotional stampede to the moments of peaceful bliss. The world swings between two extreme so is the personal life of the author. Life was scarred by emotional volatility. I am at the moment, is living in the zone. I need to earn respect and freedom more than money. Respect can't be bought, it has to be earned. So, what the heck that means ? Sometimes people deserve their work rewarded through likability not monetary compensation. Going through the season of emotional stampedes has always revealed a trait inside me something dark. I don't know what is in the air of college and office that I slowly starts to enjoy proximity to the power. I had unknowingly regraded to become more diplomatic rather than being candid and blunt.Lightning doesn't strike at same place twice but bad habits can make you repay again and again. Still, I ha...

Attention span refers to the amount of time we can focus on a task before we start to "zone out". Due to boom of the social media, the average attention span has dropped from 12 minutes to a staggeringly short 5 minutes. People’s attention spans are much shorter now as their interests have moved on to sports, technology and fashion. The attitude of our younger generation has changed so rapidly with the introduction of Twitter and Facebook. Even then social media can't be blamed entirely as knowledge accumulates to people who read Wikipedia on screen that to those who mush their brains with Twilight on paper. “According to UNESCO, the biggest single indicator of whether a child is going to thrive at school and in work is whether or not they read for pleasure.” Growing numbers of children are being turned off books by the end of primary school because of the influence of the internet and lack of reading in the home, according to research. I don't vouch for the Americ...

‘Time, like a fistful of sand, slips through our fingers while we stand and wonder what to do with it.’ A habit is must for proper utilization of the time during our growing years. I had a nice habit of book and comics reading from the childhood days. I have already written a brief about reading history in a previous post ( Personal Reading History -1 ). In retrospection, it feels great that I have read so many books, comics, stories and poems. I want to read with the growing age the best of all world literature. It varies with the short stories of Anton Chekhov, Guy De Maupassant, Somerset Maugham, Tolstoy, Oscar Wilde and O Henry. UP, CBSE and ICSE board short stories and in English and Hindi from class 5th to 12th were fondly read by me. Smriti by Sriram Sharma , Gift of the Magi by O Henry, The Model Millionaire by Oscar Wilde, Idgaah by Premchand and A Letter to God by Gregorio Lopez y Fuentes (Translated by Donald A. Yates ) are still mine favorite stories. Books Read at ...

Year started with interview at IRMA. Failure in IRMA was hard to swallow. As they say, it rains hardest on those who deserve the sun. I learnt in hard way that never make a tall claim. Tall claim have a nasty way of coming back like boomerang to haunt you. On Leaving CSC : Talent leaves deadwood does not. It is hard to work somewhere without proper training and background. Without context and passion, the life becomes incomprehensible. Though there are artificial problems, I want to address human problems. I was luckily selected in XIMB. I am in the phase of rebuilding mine career now. I hope to be riding the crest of the wave that hard work has created. The most terrible poverty is the feeling of being unloved. I found someone special. The truth of the heart can only be seen in the eyes of one who is in love. There is someone in my life. I am seeking the relationship with love and trust despite differences of age, thoughts, hobby and attitude. I am plan to be surprised by the ...

"It is good to be curious because that is how one starts the journey of inquiry... into existence; but if one simply remains curious, then there will be no intensity in it. One can move from one curiosity to another — one will become a driftwood — from one wave to another wave, never getting anchored anywhere. Curiosity is good as a beginning, but then one has to become more passionate. One has to make life a quest, not only a curiosity." --- Osho  I am now searching the root of mine reading habits and how they have changed my behavior over the span of time. Even though I was attracted towards schoolbooks, I don't remember any interest in the reading at KG level. Only memory I have of reading, it is of nursery rhyme ' Johnny Johnny Yes Papa ' in the classroom. I spent most of the time listening to the old songs of Kishore Kumar and Mahendra Kumar in the cassette player. I had started reading Children stories in Hindi newspaper ' Dainik Jagran ' initially...

Anton Chekhov once said that you must trust and believe in people or life becomes impossible. There was a vacuum inside despite of huge knowledge in comparison to peers. You can't be thrilled with the life if it is full of knowledge. One who not been able to love, or not been able to receive love. He has not been able to share his being. That’s the misery of one's existence. The worst bit is one does not know where to seek love. People have no idea and nor do they care how a loner live and struggle. Life was rather repulsive once! Anton Chekhov once said that people who lead a lonely existence always have something on their minds that they are eager to talk about. I was alone once yet not lonely. A development of relationship blossomed but was crushed in between. Aren't the most painful stories those where the relations are left broken yet open? Yet, I prefer silence than stories. It takes the darkest hour of your life to find yourself. The more I know who I am an...

26 years of Life completed on 21st August. Yahoo ! Annus mirabilis is a Latin phrase meaning "wonderful year" or "year of wonders". A year where many dreams blossomed and similarly many nightmares ended. So life was never better than previous year (Though just late but not too late for me). Between the end of the illusions and the awakening as a different person. I am missing my friends today. But now, they have all gone into parts of India -- and I remain alone here, with only their memories in my heart, and tears in my eyes. "When the facts change, I change my mind," said Lord Keynes once. I am also doing the same while understanding the tussle, cooperation and competition between development sector and corporate sector in academic life here. The motto of life in the busy schedules of life has changed to न दैन्यं न पलायनम् !

Welcome, there is a change in the Blog outlook to make it more simple and sober. I did this after struggling with slow internet connection. I am wandering in the landscape of loneliness. Today, I writing this blog in order to comprehend, not to express myself. A paradigm shift in mine thinking ! How many memories/information can a person stand, and how many does he need? Does one need either huge academic knowledge or field work only to prove his case of merit ? What is the definition of luxury or necessity for a family (not individual)? These are some basic question that is haunting me. Leave alone these question on fate. Despite introspection, We Are Strangers to Ourselves. Ability to be ourselves is crucial, not flowing in the shallow water of superficiality. There is inbuilt existential frustation and restlessness in humans. No person can escape from the thoughts buzzing in the mind. The difference between getting lost and finding new ways distinct achievers in the fighters. ...

Derek Sivers: How to start a movement With help from some surprising footage, Derek Sivers explains how movements really get started. (Hint: it takes two.) A pioneer with courage has just to stand up and do it first :) TED Video There were five points that I came across in recent days. Each of them opened a new door of analysing the world and mine life in different manner. 1- One question recently bumped me off : Am I A Product Of The Institutions I Attended? I am caught in the web of traditional outlook of liberal, conservative, socialist, anarchist or even fascist. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. That is the human nature emerges as a complex patterns out of a multiplicity of relatively simple interactions. Much of learning is not done in the confined environment of the institute. Institutes are just facilitator for providing suitable environment for the growth of an individual. But an institution should balance insanity and genius activity of the individ...

A scarcity of availability and a ticking clock changes our perspective and the desire to take action. I have become busy in the new routine of Yem Bee Aey (MBA)college. I am not able to read and write due to busy lifestyle. I have never imagined that a day like this can come ! An advertisement (spoof) on the fact that major credit card and online payment companies have withheld over $15 Million in donations to WikiLeaks has created a buzz between liberals and youths. Support WikiLeaks ; Inspired by Wikileaks, I have started a secret blog --- Diary of A Grass Root Manager ! . I am updating this blog as per weekly basis with both positive and negative perspective of my stay here in XIMB. Nobody can access the blog now due to its sensitive nature. I will make the blog available in public realm after getting my MBA degree. A person should have right to document his experiences and learning. I can't rely always on the history lessons presented by state or authority. Milan Kun...

There are so many books, blogs and magazines in this world, nobody can read them all. Nobody is waiting for another one of them. If I didn't have to write in order to keep myself together, I wouldn't do it. I don't want to be a seasoned writer, this isn't the reason I write. Every man dies, not every man observe how he really lives. I enjoys writing and reading but it consumes a lot of energy. I am not even replying to the comments. Such is the phase of life going on. I am going for higher education and have faith on my talent. This job has taught me not to expect the better man to bow before the fool. To be better take more guts than average thinking. Those who can't say Fuck to their status, can't design the future. There are people who have once survived through some life time experience and don't understand the nature of it. Experience can supply the information but even then wisdom may lack. Equally, There are people who have not gone through lif...

One realizes one's root when every new occurrence brings back a memory and search for an identity is over. I was trying to track history of my family through relations of fathers and sons and tell a simple story. It is not summary of growing divide between the generations but a simple tale documented fist time ever. It is a story of my family based on the values that changed with time yet remain same in core. My great grandfather had been 10+2 passed out (first in my family) in 1902. He was born in mid 1880's and joined Primary School as a teacher despite of Zamindari background. My grandfather was born in 1920's and was educated till High-school. He didn't do any job due to his Zamindari Background. Such was the difference of view between them. My grandfather was eldest of three brothers and remain a farmer till his last breathe. His brothers went to Jharia Bihar to work in coal mines. With the Zamindari system being abolished after independence and few court cases...

Life is going fast and I have discovered that reading poems are anytime better than economics. Summer, summer, summertime and it is time to sit back and unwind. I am spending too much time on Facebook. That is a quite worthless pleasure of addiction. Sitting on the roof-top chatting with friends is better time pass than this. I can only say that I am finding it hard to bear the unbearable separation from internet for 2 hour also, need guts to overcome! Writing has brought a fundamental error of intellectuals in front of me. An intellectual knows what one opposes but does not seem to be sure what one proposes. Status quo challenged has no meaning until an alternative appears. Change happens where previous appear even slightly worse than current to the people. This is a fundamental factor in determining the nature and degree of the solution to any problem. The criticisms, ideologies and debate are the second necessary but not sufficient condition for uplift of the unprivileged ones...